I never take risk while drinking
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it Becoz
I never take a risk
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Qucikly enjoy one peg Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
I peep into the kitchen Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did Becoz
i never take a risk
I: Any news on Iyer’s daughter’s marriage
She: Nope, she doesn’t seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her
I again come out;
there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don’t make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did Becoz
I never take a risk
I: But still I think Iyer’s daughter’s age is not that much
She: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old… like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh…
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard’s place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink
Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes and wash Shivaji Maharaj’s photo and keep it in the black cupboard
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did Becoz
I never take a risk
I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you say that again, I will cut your tongue…!
She: Don’t just blabber something, go out and sit quietly…
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did Becoz
I never take a risk
I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
She: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face…
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what i did Becoz
Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
Iyer is still cooking And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing Becoz
i never take a risk
May I know the time please?!
Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtesy, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: made it Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles. ;)
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtesy, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: made it Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles. ;)
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch
Nov 23, 2006
WHO IS BEHIND THE DEATH OF ………???????
Don’t be tensed. We are helpless. Bin + bush fought and they are responsible for this. You can’t simply blame Bush. You can clap with 2 hands only.
Bush’s father who was the man who started this out. He got Bin trained in U.S. Military camps to divide U.S.S.R into pieces. Bin played a major part to divide Asia’s biggest country U.S.S.R.
This was not the end. Bush was asked by bin to give him the full control of Afgan, turkey, etc. Bush rejected his proposal. And sent U.S. Soldiers to kill Bin. Since then Bin is waiting for a chance to destroy Bush.
Bush lost elections. And Bin kept quiet for sometime. Finally when Bush’s son came as U.S. President he got chance. And that was WTC blast.
These two people, who run after each other, show they are doing this for the better of people. But to say real. They are the cause for distraction. They are greedy for power.
None of them is a saint. You sent a mail saying who is behind the death of…….670 soldiers. But can you tell me who is behind the death of 246 Indian’s working in WTC?
Bush’s father who was the man who started this out. He got Bin trained in U.S. Military camps to divide U.S.S.R into pieces. Bin played a major part to divide Asia’s biggest country U.S.S.R.
This was not the end. Bush was asked by bin to give him the full control of Afgan, turkey, etc. Bush rejected his proposal. And sent U.S. Soldiers to kill Bin. Since then Bin is waiting for a chance to destroy Bush.
Bush lost elections. And Bin kept quiet for sometime. Finally when Bush’s son came as U.S. President he got chance. And that was WTC blast.
These two people, who run after each other, show they are doing this for the better of people. But to say real. They are the cause for distraction. They are greedy for power.
None of them is a saint. You sent a mail saying who is behind the death of…….670 soldiers. But can you tell me who is behind the death of 246 Indian’s working in WTC?
A Great Message
It was a sports stadium.Eight Children were standing on the track to participate in the running event.
Ready!
Steady!
Bang!!!
With the sound of Toy pistol,all eight girls started running. Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she started crying.
* When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped running, stood for a while and turned back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down. One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired ‘Now pain must have reduced’.
* All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified her, two of them held the girl firmly and they all seven joined hands together and walked together and reached the winning post.
* Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the stadium. Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it had reached the GOD even!
* YES. This happened in Hyderabad [INDIA], recently !
* The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health. All these special girls had come to participate in this event and they are spastic children.
* Yes, they were mentally retarded. What did they teach this world?
* Teamwork?
* Humanity?
* Equality among all?????
Ready!
Steady!
Bang!!!
With the sound of Toy pistol,all eight girls started running. Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she started crying.
* When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped running, stood for a while and turned back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down. One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired ‘Now pain must have reduced’.
* All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified her, two of them held the girl firmly and they all seven joined hands together and walked together and reached the winning post.
* Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the stadium. Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it had reached the GOD even!
* YES. This happened in Hyderabad [INDIA], recently !
* The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health. All these special girls had come to participate in this event and they are spastic children.
* Yes, they were mentally retarded. What did they teach this world?
* Teamwork?
* Humanity?
* Equality among all?????
Woman Dictionary
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = my correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain Sure
go ahead = I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? =Too late, you’re dead
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = my correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain Sure
go ahead = I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? =Too late, you’re dead
Woman Mentality
A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.
The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?”
So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day !!!
The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?”
So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day !!!
Nov 22, 2006
Symptoms of IT People
If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms:
1.) U use phrases like “No issues” and “Value addition” in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, “His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues”
2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.
3.) U drink more tea or coffee than water.
4.) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)
5.) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive the call.
6.) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial “0″to get an outside line.
7.) U haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
8.) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.
9.) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.
10.) Ur important ‘meetings’ usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.
11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.
13.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.
14.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.
15.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are also in IT.
16.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12
17.)U r not sure so u scroll back check it .
18.)And now u r smiling
Am sure u did steps 16 to 18.
1.) U use phrases like “No issues” and “Value addition” in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, “His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues”
2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.
3.) U drink more tea or coffee than water.
4.) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)
5.) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive the call.
6.) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial “0″to get an outside line.
7.) U haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
8.) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.
9.) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.
10.) Ur important ‘meetings’ usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.
11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.
13.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.
14.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.
15.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are also in IT.
16.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12
17.)U r not sure so u scroll back check it .
18.)And now u r smiling
Am sure u did steps 16 to 18.
Test your eyes
Count every “F” in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS…
HOW MANY?
……………… 3?
WRONG, THERE IS 6 — no joke... READ IT AGAIN!
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process “OF”. Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 “F’s” on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS…
HOW MANY?
……………… 3?
WRONG, THERE IS 6 — no joke... READ IT AGAIN!
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process “OF”. Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 “F’s” on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Richest country……amazing news
Do you know that India is the richest country in the world! Right now, India is the richest country in the world!
Wondering how? It’s really amazing. It’s due to Mr. G Vaidyaraj, who donated all his wealth, about which he actually did not know.
He is a descendant of Raja Krishnadev Raya from Mysore district.
For the last 300 years or so, three stones were worshiped in his house.But nobody tried to see what it was, except this person, who is a lawyer by profession.One day, when there was nobody in his house, he took the stone out to see what it was that they worship.
Due to the dust deposited on it, from many many years, it looked only like a simple stone. But when he touched it, some portion of the stone was cleansed.
And he saw a bright ray of light. He saw something which attracted his attention. And he was amazed when he cleaned all of them.The whole room was filled with light.
He discovered they were diamonds of about 4600 carats each. He informed the Govt. of India and the news is censored with its security. It’s now deposited in a Swiss Bank.
The cost of single diamond exceeds the GDP of USA + UK. India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.
Even World Bank does not have enough money to buy it.
One diamond costs thrice the debt of World Bank over India.
One such diamond can buy 10 Bill Gates to you.
And the World Bank has proposed the Indian Govt. that it can pay India in Installment if it wishes to do so.
India’s GDP is 34.25 billion dollars.
Bill Gates property is 95 billion dollars approximate so that is the way “nature changes”.
Our Prime Minister has refused to sell it.
He said it will be sold or mortgaged for credit when we need it. Otherwise right now we have no problems.
You can go through Times of India with a small column on it some time ago.
Star TV presented a 115 min documentary on it about 15 days ago(Some time back).
The Hindu with its half page article in it.
After that it was censored as classified.
Another good news is that in the Desert of Thar a deposit of Oil and Natural gas have been found. This stores what Kuwait has in its stomach.
India can go with this ONGC energy reserve with another 30 years.
And moreover it can export it to other counties.
It’s incredible!! But true.
An Indian boy in his 12th standard has disproved Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity”.
Shocked? Read on…
Sudarshan Reddy has theoretically proven the existence of a subatomic particle, which can travel at speed greater than that of light, thereby challenging one of the fundamental postulates of the “Theory of Relativity”.
In his recent research paper submitted to the Institute of Advanced Physics (IAP) at Trieste (Italy), Sudarshan has proved the existence of a class of subatomic particles called “leptons”,which can travel faster than light.
The international physics community is shocked by this discovery.
Dr.Massimo Martelli, President of the IAP has this to say about the paper submitted by Sudarshan. “After long, careful and critical analysis, I can confidently say that Sudarshan’s re search papers show tremendous leap in our understanding of physics. His investigation mounts up on “leptons”.
His work builds substantially on the work of Einstein and others in the field of relativity.”
When physicists from Princeton University tried to measure Sudarshan’s IQ with an IQmeter (at the American Embassy in Delhi),the meter broke down.
Sudarshan, incidentally, is the brother of Madhu Reddy, the Indian whiz kid who developed an operating system superior to Microsoft Windows.
We should all be very proud of these boys.
Wondering how? It’s really amazing. It’s due to Mr. G Vaidyaraj, who donated all his wealth, about which he actually did not know.
He is a descendant of Raja Krishnadev Raya from Mysore district.
For the last 300 years or so, three stones were worshiped in his house.But nobody tried to see what it was, except this person, who is a lawyer by profession.One day, when there was nobody in his house, he took the stone out to see what it was that they worship.
Due to the dust deposited on it, from many many years, it looked only like a simple stone. But when he touched it, some portion of the stone was cleansed.
And he saw a bright ray of light. He saw something which attracted his attention. And he was amazed when he cleaned all of them.The whole room was filled with light.
He discovered they were diamonds of about 4600 carats each. He informed the Govt. of India and the news is censored with its security. It’s now deposited in a Swiss Bank.
The cost of single diamond exceeds the GDP of USA + UK. India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.
Even World Bank does not have enough money to buy it.
One diamond costs thrice the debt of World Bank over India.
One such diamond can buy 10 Bill Gates to you.
And the World Bank has proposed the Indian Govt. that it can pay India in Installment if it wishes to do so.
India’s GDP is 34.25 billion dollars.
Bill Gates property is 95 billion dollars approximate so that is the way “nature changes”.
Our Prime Minister has refused to sell it.
He said it will be sold or mortgaged for credit when we need it. Otherwise right now we have no problems.
You can go through Times of India with a small column on it some time ago.
Star TV presented a 115 min documentary on it about 15 days ago(Some time back).
The Hindu with its half page article in it.
After that it was censored as classified.
Another good news is that in the Desert of Thar a deposit of Oil and Natural gas have been found. This stores what Kuwait has in its stomach.
India can go with this ONGC energy reserve with another 30 years.
And moreover it can export it to other counties.
It’s incredible!! But true.
An Indian boy in his 12th standard has disproved Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity”.
Shocked? Read on…
Sudarshan Reddy has theoretically proven the existence of a subatomic particle, which can travel at speed greater than that of light, thereby challenging one of the fundamental postulates of the “Theory of Relativity”.
In his recent research paper submitted to the Institute of Advanced Physics (IAP) at Trieste (Italy), Sudarshan has proved the existence of a class of subatomic particles called “leptons”,which can travel faster than light.
The international physics community is shocked by this discovery.
Dr.Massimo Martelli, President of the IAP has this to say about the paper submitted by Sudarshan. “After long, careful and critical analysis, I can confidently say that Sudarshan’s re search papers show tremendous leap in our understanding of physics. His investigation mounts up on “leptons”.
His work builds substantially on the work of Einstein and others in the field of relativity.”
When physicists from Princeton University tried to measure Sudarshan’s IQ with an IQmeter (at the American Embassy in Delhi),the meter broke down.
Sudarshan, incidentally, is the brother of Madhu Reddy, the Indian whiz kid who developed an operating system superior to Microsoft Windows.
We should all be very proud of these boys.
Nov 21, 2006
Errors not Warnings !!!!
A software engineer was smoking in office.
Girl says, Can’t you see the warning on the pack? “Smoking is injurious to health”
To this the engineer says………..
Any guesses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
We bother only about Errors not Warnings!!!!
Girl says, Can’t you see the warning on the pack? “Smoking is injurious to health”
To this the engineer says………..
Any guesses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
We bother only about Errors not Warnings!!!!
Birthdays and You
IF you were born on the :
*1st, 10th, 19th, 28th *of any month you are number* 1.*
*2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th* of any month then you are number *2.*
*3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th* of any month then you are number *3.*
*4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st* of any month then you are Number *4.*
*5th, 14th, 23rd* of any month then you are number *5.*
*6th, 15th, 24th* of any month then you are number *6.*
*7th, 16th, 25th* of any month then you are number *7.*
*8th, 17th, 26th* of any month then you are number *8.*
*9th, 18th, 27th* of any month then you are number *9.*
*Number 1*
You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4,6,8 while a good match would be with 3,5,7
*Number 2*
No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no other people can put up with you!!!
*Number 3*
You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It’s not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and problems but they won’t be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!! Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5
*Number 4*
You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other people’s problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too much fun with your mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good match 5, 6, and 7
*Number 5*
You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help your friends. You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good match 6, 8.
*Number 6*
Ooopppss.. you were born to enjoy! You don’t care about others. I mean you always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world’s wounds to make peace for everyone because you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step further.. Your best match 7, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5
*Number 7*
You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art, singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don’t, then you might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone’s joy. Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4
*Number 8*
You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly- disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your Best match 1. 4, and 8. Good match 5
*Number 9*
You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it’s still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there! Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone. Your best match 3, 5,6, and 9. Good match 2
*1st, 10th, 19th, 28th *of any month you are number* 1.*
*2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th* of any month then you are number *2.*
*3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th* of any month then you are number *3.*
*4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st* of any month then you are Number *4.*
*5th, 14th, 23rd* of any month then you are number *5.*
*6th, 15th, 24th* of any month then you are number *6.*
*7th, 16th, 25th* of any month then you are number *7.*
*8th, 17th, 26th* of any month then you are number *8.*
*9th, 18th, 27th* of any month then you are number *9.*
*Number 1*
You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4,6,8 while a good match would be with 3,5,7
*Number 2*
No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no other people can put up with you!!!
*Number 3*
You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It’s not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and problems but they won’t be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!! Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5
*Number 4*
You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other people’s problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too much fun with your mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good match 5, 6, and 7
*Number 5*
You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help your friends. You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good match 6, 8.
*Number 6*
Ooopppss.. you were born to enjoy! You don’t care about others. I mean you always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world’s wounds to make peace for everyone because you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step further.. Your best match 7, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5
*Number 7*
You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art, singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don’t, then you might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone’s joy. Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4
*Number 8*
You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly- disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your Best match 1. 4, and 8. Good match 5
*Number 9*
You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it’s still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there! Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone. Your best match 3, 5,6, and 9. Good match 2
Nov 20, 2006
Cell Phone Usage at Rainy Time
This is a real story that has happened in Madurai some time back. Cell Phone Usage at Rainy Time In continuation of the news item appearing in today’s Daily paper on the death of 3 persons in Oothangudi, I heard the details of cause of death as follows:-
At the cemetray, in total, there were about 12 persons out of which 4 of them were under a palm tree 5 of others were also standing beside these 4 It was raining with thunder and LIGHTNING after 7 pm One of them, who had a cellphone with him, had received incoming call and when he swithced on to talk the LIGHTNING had struck and the total effect of SHOCK attacked all 4 of them at the spot.
The man with the cellphone had died on the spot 2 others standing near to him were declared dead at Meenakshi Mission Hospital 1 is seriously injured and now in hospital 10000 Watts currnet has passed on inside the body of the man died on the spot as said by Doctors in hospital.
Hence, usage of CELL PHONE AT RAINY TIME IS PRONE TO ACCIDENT
At the cemetray, in total, there were about 12 persons out of which 4 of them were under a palm tree 5 of others were also standing beside these 4 It was raining with thunder and LIGHTNING after 7 pm One of them, who had a cellphone with him, had received incoming call and when he swithced on to talk the LIGHTNING had struck and the total effect of SHOCK attacked all 4 of them at the spot.
The man with the cellphone had died on the spot 2 others standing near to him were declared dead at Meenakshi Mission Hospital 1 is seriously injured and now in hospital 10000 Watts currnet has passed on inside the body of the man died on the spot as said by Doctors in hospital.
Hence, usage of CELL PHONE AT RAINY TIME IS PRONE TO ACCIDENT
Always tell truth to your Wife
A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes.
He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees beautiful woman and strikes up a conversation. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says, “Oh no! It’s so late. My wife’s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?”She gives him some talcum powder, which he precedes to rub on his hands and then goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she ispretty angry. Where have you been?
” Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!” She sees his hands are covered with powder and says… “You big fat liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!”
Moral of the story:
(1) Always tell your wife the truth.
(2) She won’t believe you anyway.
(3) At least your conscience will be clear
He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees beautiful woman and strikes up a conversation. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says, “Oh no! It’s so late. My wife’s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?”She gives him some talcum powder, which he precedes to rub on his hands and then goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she ispretty angry. Where have you been?
” Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!” She sees his hands are covered with powder and says… “You big fat liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!”
Moral of the story:
(1) Always tell your wife the truth.
(2) She won’t believe you anyway.
(3) At least your conscience will be clear
Vision
When a person begins to see all goodness as being the goodness of God, all the beauty that surrounds him as the divine beauty, he begins by worshipping a visible God, and as his heart constantly loves and admires the divine beauty in all that he sees, he begins to see in all that is visible one single vision; all becomes for him the vision of the beauty of God.
His love of beauty increases his capacity to such a degree that great virtues such as tolerance and forgiveness spring naturally from his heart. Even things that people mostly look upon with contempt, he views with tolerance. In nature he sees God, in man he sees His image, and in art and poetry he sees the dance of God. The waves of the sea bring him the message from above, and the swaying of the branches in the breeze seems to him a prayer. For him there is a constant contact with his God.
…’If you wish to know God, you must know yourself.’ How little man knows while he is in the intoxication of individualism! He thinks, ‘I am a separate being; you are another; there is no connection between you and me, and we all have our own joys and free will.’ Did man but know it, his life is dependent not only on the objects and things that keep the body alive, but also on the activity of a thousand minds in a day. … Who then can say, ‘I am an individual, independent and free, I can think as I wish, and I can do what I wish? …
We are connected with one another. Our lives are tied together, and there is a link in which we can see one current running through all. There are many globes and lamps, and yet one current is running through all…”
His love of beauty increases his capacity to such a degree that great virtues such as tolerance and forgiveness spring naturally from his heart. Even things that people mostly look upon with contempt, he views with tolerance. In nature he sees God, in man he sees His image, and in art and poetry he sees the dance of God. The waves of the sea bring him the message from above, and the swaying of the branches in the breeze seems to him a prayer. For him there is a constant contact with his God.
…’If you wish to know God, you must know yourself.’ How little man knows while he is in the intoxication of individualism! He thinks, ‘I am a separate being; you are another; there is no connection between you and me, and we all have our own joys and free will.’ Did man but know it, his life is dependent not only on the objects and things that keep the body alive, but also on the activity of a thousand minds in a day. … Who then can say, ‘I am an individual, independent and free, I can think as I wish, and I can do what I wish? …
We are connected with one another. Our lives are tied together, and there is a link in which we can see one current running through all. There are many globes and lamps, and yet one current is running through all…”
First Date Conversation
On first dates conversation can be uncomfortably slow at times. You don’t know much about the person and you have no history with them so it can be difficult to find things to talk about. Add a little bit of nervousness and tension to the situation and things are downright awkward.
This article will give you a few ideas to help you start great conversations on a date with people that you may not know very well. But first, it’s important to understand a few things about socializing on dates.
People like to talk about themselves! Most of us would rather talk about our life than listen to someone else talk about theirs. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just human nature. With that in mind the conversation starters I give you later in this article purposely focus the conversation on the other person.
It’s a good idea to keep all conversation positive–never bring up negative things like death. It’s also wise to avoid controversial subjects like religion, politics, and abortion until you get to know the person better.
Try desperately to keep away from all “canned” conversations like, “So, what do you do?” or, “Where are you from?” This stuff is important to know later on (maybe the second or third date) but it makes you seem dull and unoriginal… not the kind of image you want to portray on the first date.
Here are some good conversation starters that focus the conversation on the other person:
>>> “Have any pets?”
This should start up a lively conversation because people LOVE their pets and LOVE talking about them even more. If they don’t have any pets then just move on to something else. Or, you could ask, “Really? Why not?”
>>> “Where did you get that _______?”
Ask them about a specific piece of jewelry or clothing. This conversation starter works particularly well with a really unique piece of jewelry or clothing… something they might be interested in telling the story behind.
>>> “Have you ever ________?”
Ask about something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing. This is a good way to find out if you have common ground. If they do have that interest in common with you then you will have plenty to talk about. If they don’t have that interest then just say, “Oh, I see.” They will ask, “Why do ask, have you?” Then answer honestly but don’t brag and don’t go on about it for too long–just move onto something else.
>>> “Do you like sports?”
Men AND women are passionate about sports and all enthusiasts enjoy talking about them. Who knows, you both may enjoy the same sport… why not buy tickets and go to a game for your next date?
>>> “Have you ever been to ________?”
Ask them if they have ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it’s a club, restaurant, or amusement park. If they HAVEN’T been there then this is a great way to get a second date… “You haven’t been? You don’t know what you are missing out on, we have GOT to go…” All of these conversation starters are centered around topics that have the potential for interesting and exciting conversation.
This article will give you a few ideas to help you start great conversations on a date with people that you may not know very well. But first, it’s important to understand a few things about socializing on dates.
People like to talk about themselves! Most of us would rather talk about our life than listen to someone else talk about theirs. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just human nature. With that in mind the conversation starters I give you later in this article purposely focus the conversation on the other person.
It’s a good idea to keep all conversation positive–never bring up negative things like death. It’s also wise to avoid controversial subjects like religion, politics, and abortion until you get to know the person better.
Try desperately to keep away from all “canned” conversations like, “So, what do you do?” or, “Where are you from?” This stuff is important to know later on (maybe the second or third date) but it makes you seem dull and unoriginal… not the kind of image you want to portray on the first date.
Here are some good conversation starters that focus the conversation on the other person:
>>> “Have any pets?”
This should start up a lively conversation because people LOVE their pets and LOVE talking about them even more. If they don’t have any pets then just move on to something else. Or, you could ask, “Really? Why not?”
>>> “Where did you get that _______?”
Ask them about a specific piece of jewelry or clothing. This conversation starter works particularly well with a really unique piece of jewelry or clothing… something they might be interested in telling the story behind.
>>> “Have you ever ________?”
Ask about something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing. This is a good way to find out if you have common ground. If they do have that interest in common with you then you will have plenty to talk about. If they don’t have that interest then just say, “Oh, I see.” They will ask, “Why do ask, have you?” Then answer honestly but don’t brag and don’t go on about it for too long–just move onto something else.
>>> “Do you like sports?”
Men AND women are passionate about sports and all enthusiasts enjoy talking about them. Who knows, you both may enjoy the same sport… why not buy tickets and go to a game for your next date?
>>> “Have you ever been to ________?”
Ask them if they have ever been to a local hotspot that you enjoy. Maybe it’s a club, restaurant, or amusement park. If they HAVEN’T been there then this is a great way to get a second date… “You haven’t been? You don’t know what you are missing out on, we have GOT to go…” All of these conversation starters are centered around topics that have the potential for interesting and exciting conversation.
Nov 19, 2006
Sleeping Son….. Principal
One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM: “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON: “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON: “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM: “Oh! That’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON: “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”
MOM: “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.”
MOM: “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”
SON: “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”
MOM: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.”
SON: “One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.”
MOM: “Oh! That’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.”
SON: “Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?”
MOM: “One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.”
DO NOT REUSE MINERAL WATER BOTTLES
Many are unaware of poisoning caused by re-using plastic bottles. Some of you may be in the habit of using and re-using your disposable mineral water bottles, keeping them in your car or at work.Not a good idea.
It happened in Dubai, when a 12 years old girl died after a long usage (16 months) of SAFA mineral water bottle, as she used to carry the same fancy (painted by herself) bottle to her school daily. In a nutshell, the plastic (called polyethylene terephthalate or PET) used in these bottles contains a potentially carcinogenic element (something called Diethyl-hydroxylamine or DEHA). The bottles are safe for one- time use only; if you must keep them longer, it should be orno more than a few days, week max, and keep them away from heat as well.
Repeated washing and rinsing can cause the plastic to break down and the carcinogens (cancer-causing chemical agents) can leak into the water that YOU are drinking. Better to invest in water bottles that are really meant for multiple uses. This is not something we should be scrimping on.
Those of you with family- do please advise them, especially children.
This is a special ! warning for families who hang on to these disposable bottles and use them for cold water in their fridges for ages.
When a bottle looks a bit yellow- please get rid of it as a precaution
It happened in Dubai, when a 12 years old girl died after a long usage (16 months) of SAFA mineral water bottle, as she used to carry the same fancy (painted by herself) bottle to her school daily. In a nutshell, the plastic (called polyethylene terephthalate or PET) used in these bottles contains a potentially carcinogenic element (something called Diethyl-hydroxylamine or DEHA). The bottles are safe for one- time use only; if you must keep them longer, it should be orno more than a few days, week max, and keep them away from heat as well.
Repeated washing and rinsing can cause the plastic to break down and the carcinogens (cancer-causing chemical agents) can leak into the water that YOU are drinking. Better to invest in water bottles that are really meant for multiple uses. This is not something we should be scrimping on.
Those of you with family- do please advise them, especially children.
This is a special ! warning for families who hang on to these disposable bottles and use them for cold water in their fridges for ages.
When a bottle looks a bit yellow- please get rid of it as a precaution
13 Differences between Women and Men
1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Ravan and Pappu !!
Once pappu started praying ravan and after 1 year Ravan was very happy from the bhakti of Pappu. Then Ravan decides to give 3 vardan’s to Pappu.
Ravan: “say vatsa what u want”
Pappu: “i want 100 vardan’s ”
Ravan: “but i can give u only 3 varas”
Pappu: “but i want 100 vardan’s”
Ravan: “no child thats not possible ”
Pappu: “no i wants 100 means 100″
Ravan: “no i can give u only 3 if u wants then take or else i m going.”
Pappu: “ok but what 3 i will ask u will give me definetly?”
Ravan: “sure its promise from rakshas raj ravana”
Pappu: “1st vardan, convert urs GADA on shoulder to wodden bamboo stick”
Ravan: “tathastu” and his gada turns into a stick.
Pappu: “second vardan, put that stick in ur as*hole”..deep inside..!!
Ravan: (confused but……..)”tathastu” and in great pain asks pappu to ask for the third vardan asap…
Pappu: “now are you giving me rest 97 varas or should i convert that stick again to GADA ??”
Ravan: ah!!!!
Ravan: “say vatsa what u want”
Pappu: “i want 100 vardan’s ”
Ravan: “but i can give u only 3 varas”
Pappu: “but i want 100 vardan’s”
Ravan: “no child thats not possible ”
Pappu: “no i wants 100 means 100″
Ravan: “no i can give u only 3 if u wants then take or else i m going.”
Pappu: “ok but what 3 i will ask u will give me definetly?”
Ravan: “sure its promise from rakshas raj ravana”
Pappu: “1st vardan, convert urs GADA on shoulder to wodden bamboo stick”
Ravan: “tathastu” and his gada turns into a stick.
Pappu: “second vardan, put that stick in ur as*hole”..deep inside..!!
Ravan: (confused but……..)”tathastu” and in great pain asks pappu to ask for the third vardan asap…
Pappu: “now are you giving me rest 97 varas or should i convert that stick again to GADA ??”
Ravan: ah!!!!
Nov 18, 2006
Amazing Computer Technology
One day, Pete complained to his friend,”My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”
His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it It only costs $10.00.”
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.
After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper, which read:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to! wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water,a stool sample from his dog,and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights,and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter is gettin’ screwed by three guys at the same time and having urinary infection. Put her on antibiotic and keep a track of her outings.
4. Your wife is pregnant . . twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And bastard,……. if you don’t stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better !!!!!!!
His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it It only costs $10.00.”
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.
After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper, which read:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to! wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water,a stool sample from his dog,and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights,and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter is gettin’ screwed by three guys at the same time and having urinary infection. Put her on antibiotic and keep a track of her outings.
4. Your wife is pregnant . . twin girls. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And bastard,……. if you don’t stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better !!!!!!!
After reading THIS, you’ll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again!
Bananas contain three natural sugars: sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant,sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes. But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND, amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, which is known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS:
Eat a banana.The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia:
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure.So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of high blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power:
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast,break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power.Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach; and with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness:
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin.Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work?
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found that the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that to avoid panic-induced food cravings,we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over- chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control:
Many other cultures see bananas as a “cooling” fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking:
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes:
According to research in “The New England Journal of Medicine,” eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, “A banana a day keeps the doctor away!”
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes. But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND, amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, which is known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS:
Eat a banana.The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia:
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure.So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of high blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power:
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast,break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power.Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach; and with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness:
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin.Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work?
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found that the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that to avoid panic-induced food cravings,we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over- chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control:
Many other cultures see bananas as a “cooling” fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking:
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6 and B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes:
According to research in “The New England Journal of Medicine,” eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, “A banana a day keeps the doctor away!”
Nov 17, 2006
10 Steps to Finding Happiness For Life Partners
Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have in common? In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy. You will find a man who cherishes his wife and puts her needs above his own, and you will find a wife who respects and trusts her man. We live in very selfish times. Pop-psychology messages are everywhere in the media encouraging us to love ourselves, do right by ourselves, and generally please ourselves first. If you really want a happy marriage, don’t buy into that type of self-centered thinking. Instead, try these 10 time-tested techniques and experience the happiness, peace, and tranquility of a healthy marriage.
1. Make time for each other. It’s so easy in our hyper-busy modern lifestyles to forget to set side a little time to enjoy each other’s company. Start a weekly tradition of setting a date for the two of you to be together doing something you both enjoy. Keep it simple. Take a nice walk together. Sip coffee together in a cozy coffeehouse. Talk to each other, reminisce, and get to know each other again.
2. Take time off from each other. Give each other space and time to work on hobbies and personal interests. When you have an interesting project to work on, you will feel more fulfilled and you will be a more interesting person.
3. Make little romantic gestures. Remember to compliment your spouse. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile. Celebrate the day you first met. Send flowers for no particular reason. You should continuously make little deposits in your spouse’s emotional bank account. The return on your investment will be incredible.
4. Fight fair. Don’t argue in front of other people. Don’t insult each other or each other’s families. Never threaten divorce, and never go to bed angry. Let the little things go, and don’t make a big deal out of every disagreement. Before arguing, think; is this really going to matter in the long run?
5. Take interest in what interests your spouse. Watch their favorite shows with them. Read their favorite book, so you can talk about it with them. Encourage them to develop their talents.
6. Listen to your spouse. Husbands, remember that women need to express their feelings. Be a good sport and just listen. Don’t interrupt, or get distracted. Empathize with her. Let her know that you can relate to what she’s feeling. Ladies, please remember that the kind of talk you might like to have with your husband does not come naturally to most men. Just be patient. It’s not a good idea to “unload” on him right when he comes home from work.
7. Accept your spouse for who they are. Practice total acceptance. Don’t hold your spouse to your expectations; you will only succeed at building resentment.
8. Express your commitment. In little ways, you can, and should, renew your vows to each other over and over. Your spouse will feel comfortable and secure knowing that you are truly committed to the marriage. True closeness will only happen when all doubt and insecurity is replaced by confidence in the relationship. Let your spouse know that you really are in it “till death do us part.”
9. Trust in each other. Don’t be suspicious. Don’t snoop through each other’s belongings. To help ensure the trust, be honest with your spouse in all things. Never keep secrets from each other, not even little ones.
10. Make it your aim to be your spouse’s best friend. Appreciate your spouse for who they are. Loosen up and have fun with each other. If you are practicing the steps above, you are on your way to being your spouse’s best friend ? the ultimate relationship in marriage.
1. Make time for each other. It’s so easy in our hyper-busy modern lifestyles to forget to set side a little time to enjoy each other’s company. Start a weekly tradition of setting a date for the two of you to be together doing something you both enjoy. Keep it simple. Take a nice walk together. Sip coffee together in a cozy coffeehouse. Talk to each other, reminisce, and get to know each other again.
2. Take time off from each other. Give each other space and time to work on hobbies and personal interests. When you have an interesting project to work on, you will feel more fulfilled and you will be a more interesting person.
3. Make little romantic gestures. Remember to compliment your spouse. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile. Celebrate the day you first met. Send flowers for no particular reason. You should continuously make little deposits in your spouse’s emotional bank account. The return on your investment will be incredible.
4. Fight fair. Don’t argue in front of other people. Don’t insult each other or each other’s families. Never threaten divorce, and never go to bed angry. Let the little things go, and don’t make a big deal out of every disagreement. Before arguing, think; is this really going to matter in the long run?
5. Take interest in what interests your spouse. Watch their favorite shows with them. Read their favorite book, so you can talk about it with them. Encourage them to develop their talents.
6. Listen to your spouse. Husbands, remember that women need to express their feelings. Be a good sport and just listen. Don’t interrupt, or get distracted. Empathize with her. Let her know that you can relate to what she’s feeling. Ladies, please remember that the kind of talk you might like to have with your husband does not come naturally to most men. Just be patient. It’s not a good idea to “unload” on him right when he comes home from work.
7. Accept your spouse for who they are. Practice total acceptance. Don’t hold your spouse to your expectations; you will only succeed at building resentment.
8. Express your commitment. In little ways, you can, and should, renew your vows to each other over and over. Your spouse will feel comfortable and secure knowing that you are truly committed to the marriage. True closeness will only happen when all doubt and insecurity is replaced by confidence in the relationship. Let your spouse know that you really are in it “till death do us part.”
9. Trust in each other. Don’t be suspicious. Don’t snoop through each other’s belongings. To help ensure the trust, be honest with your spouse in all things. Never keep secrets from each other, not even little ones.
10. Make it your aim to be your spouse’s best friend. Appreciate your spouse for who they are. Loosen up and have fun with each other. If you are practicing the steps above, you are on your way to being your spouse’s best friend ? the ultimate relationship in marriage.
Chanakya’s Quotes - Worth Learning
*******************************************************************
“A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first.”
*******************************************************************
“Even if a snake is not poisonous,it should pretend to be venomous.”
*******************************************************************
“The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you.”
*******************************************************************
“There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is noFriendship without self-interests.This is a bitter truth.”
*******************************************************************
“Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.”
*******************************************************************
“As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.”
*******************************************************************
“Once you start a working on something,don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.”
*******************************************************************
“The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.”
*******************************************************************
“Whores don’t live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak company and birds don’t build nests on a tree that doesn’t bear fruits.”
*******************************************************************
“God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple.”
*******************************************************************
“A man is great by deeds, not by birth.”
*******************************************************************
“Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status.Such friendships will never give you any happiness.”
*******************************************************************
“Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years.For the next five years, scold them.By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend.Your grown up children are your best friends.”
*******************************************************************
“Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.”
*******************************************************************
“Education is the best friend.An educated person is respected everywhere.Education beats the beauty and the youth.”
*******************************************************************
“A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first.”
*******************************************************************
“Even if a snake is not poisonous,it should pretend to be venomous.”
*******************************************************************
“The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you.”
*******************************************************************
“There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is noFriendship without self-interests.This is a bitter truth.”
*******************************************************************
“Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.”
*******************************************************************
“As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.”
*******************************************************************
“Once you start a working on something,don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.”
*******************************************************************
“The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.”
*******************************************************************
“Whores don’t live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak company and birds don’t build nests on a tree that doesn’t bear fruits.”
*******************************************************************
“God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple.”
*******************************************************************
“A man is great by deeds, not by birth.”
*******************************************************************
“Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status.Such friendships will never give you any happiness.”
*******************************************************************
“Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years.For the next five years, scold them.By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend.Your grown up children are your best friends.”
*******************************************************************
“Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.”
*******************************************************************
“Education is the best friend.An educated person is respected everywhere.Education beats the beauty and the youth.”
*******************************************************************
Nov 16, 2006
Cell Phone Usage at Rainy Time
This is a real story that has happened in Madurai sometime back. Cell Phone Usage at Rainy Time In continuation of the news item appearing in today’s Daily paper on the death of 3 persons in Oothangudi, I heard the details of cause of death as follows:-
At the cemetray, in total, there were about 12 persons out of which 4 of them were under a palm tree 5 of others were also standing beside these 4. It was raining with thunder and LIGHTNING after 7 pm One of them, who had a cellphone with him, had received incoming call and when he swithced on to talk the LIGHTNING had struck and the total effect of SHOCK attacked all 4 of them at the spot.
The man with the cellphone had died on the spot 2 others standing near to him were declared dead at Meenakshi Mission Hospital 1 is seriously injured and now in hospital 10000 Watts currnet has passed on inside the body of the man died on the spot as said by Doctors in hospital.
Hence, usage of CELL PHONE AT RAINY TIME IS PRONE TO ACCIDENT
At the cemetray, in total, there were about 12 persons out of which 4 of them were under a palm tree 5 of others were also standing beside these 4. It was raining with thunder and LIGHTNING after 7 pm One of them, who had a cellphone with him, had received incoming call and when he swithced on to talk the LIGHTNING had struck and the total effect of SHOCK attacked all 4 of them at the spot.
The man with the cellphone had died on the spot 2 others standing near to him were declared dead at Meenakshi Mission Hospital 1 is seriously injured and now in hospital 10000 Watts currnet has passed on inside the body of the man died on the spot as said by Doctors in hospital.
Hence, usage of CELL PHONE AT RAINY TIME IS PRONE TO ACCIDENT
Reality of life, sad but true…………..!!!!
God created the donkey and said to him. “You will be a donkey. You will work untiring from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.”
The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years” God granted his wish.
………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………………………………….
God created the dog and said to him: “You will guard the house of man. You will be is best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years. You will be a dog. ”
The dog answered: “Sir, to live 30 years is too much, give me only 15 years.” God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
God created the monkey and said to him: “You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. ”
The monkey answered: “To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.” God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………….……………………………………………………………
Finally God created man and said to him: “You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.”
Man responded: “Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.” God granted man’s wish.
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That’s Life.
Is’nt it?
The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years” God granted his wish.
………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………………………………….
God created the dog and said to him: “You will guard the house of man. You will be is best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years. You will be a dog. ”
The dog answered: “Sir, to live 30 years is too much, give me only 15 years.” God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
God created the monkey and said to him: “You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. ”
The monkey answered: “To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.” God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………….……………………………………………………………
Finally God created man and said to him: “You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.”
Man responded: “Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.” God granted man’s wish.
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That’s Life.
Is’nt it?
School Days Memories
Gone are the days
When the school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches.
Gone are the days
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes.
Gone are the days
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
Gone are the days
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
And returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.
Gone are the days
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.
Gone are the days
When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited more
eagerly than the monsoons.
Gone are the days
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.
Gone are the days
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.
Gone are the days
When few rushed at 5:30 to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus.
Gone are the days
Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,
And the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
And the most enjoyed holidays after them.
Gone are the days
We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost, We laughed, we cried,
we fought, we thought.
Gone are the days
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more.
Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and Ever.
I hope you went back to your Golden Olden days..........
For a while..........as I DID!!
DID u??
When the school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and benches.
Gone are the days
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books and notes.
Gone are the days
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
Gone are the days
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals,
And returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat.
Gone are the days
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.
Gone are the days
When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table, Was awaited more
eagerly than the monsoons.
Gone are the days
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy.
Gone are the days
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks.
Gone are the days
When few rushed at 5:30 to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus.
Gone are the days
Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,
And the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams,
And the most enjoyed holidays after them.
Gone are the days
We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost, We laughed, we cried,
we fought, we thought.
Gone are the days
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more.
Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and Ever.
I hope you went back to your Golden Olden days..........
For a while..........as I DID!!
DID u??
12 Signs of falling in LOVE
- When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang Up...but you miss them already when it was just two minutes Ago.
- You read their texts over and over again...
- You walk really slowly when you're with them...
- You feel shy whenever you're with them...
- When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster...
- You smile when you hear their voice...
- When you look at them, you can't see the other people around You... All you see is him/her...
- You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them...
- They become ALL you think about...
- You get high just from their scent...
- You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think
- You would do anything for them...
Nov 15, 2006
Thought before action
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along his route. No problems for the first few stops — a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened — Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer.
He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong — what’s more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!,” the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “Oh yeah? And why not?!”
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”
Moral of the story:
Be sure there really is a problem before working hard to solve it.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened — Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer.
He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong — what’s more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!,” the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “Oh yeah? And why not?!”
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”
Moral of the story:
Be sure there really is a problem before working hard to solve it.
Reunion!
In the year 2024…
“Class of 2004 - Reunion”, read the banner,
oh! the last 20 years has gone so sooner,
The great college days, I started remembering,
Seems like only yesterday I finished my engineering.
Seeing my class mates, after 20 years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Everyone has changed a lot,
No one escaped nature’s plot.
Guys who were smart and handsome,
have become bald and buxom,
Girls who used to fill our dreams,
Almost brought out screams.
Saw the girl, whom once I thought as my life,
oops!, today she is somebody else’s wife,
after years, talked to her for a little while,
learned she is happy, that made me smile.
Entered our class’ Mr. Romeo,
Who has played many a cameo
We started teasing him together,
About what all he did to-get-her,
Project reviews to campus interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,
Short term crushes to class room blushes.
Everything was fresh in our mind,
Wished life could rewind,
Laughed, played and rejoiced,
Once again we became girls and boys.
Chatting and laughing, we all were in elation,
Till the painful moment of separation,
It was time to part,
returned with a heavy heart.
Today life is full of commitments,
And too many worries,
But those cherished moments,
Will live forever in our memoriesssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Class of 2004 - Reunion”, read the banner,
oh! the last 20 years has gone so sooner,
The great college days, I started remembering,
Seems like only yesterday I finished my engineering.
Seeing my class mates, after 20 years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Everyone has changed a lot,
No one escaped nature’s plot.
Guys who were smart and handsome,
have become bald and buxom,
Girls who used to fill our dreams,
Almost brought out screams.
Saw the girl, whom once I thought as my life,
oops!, today she is somebody else’s wife,
after years, talked to her for a little while,
learned she is happy, that made me smile.
Entered our class’ Mr. Romeo,
Who has played many a cameo
We started teasing him together,
About what all he did to-get-her,
Project reviews to campus interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,
Short term crushes to class room blushes.
Everything was fresh in our mind,
Wished life could rewind,
Laughed, played and rejoiced,
Once again we became girls and boys.
Chatting and laughing, we all were in elation,
Till the painful moment of separation,
It was time to part,
returned with a heavy heart.
Today life is full of commitments,
And too many worries,
But those cherished moments,
Will live forever in our memoriesssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Newton Vs Rajanikanth
Newton-The Father of Physics commited suicide, you know why. Here is the reason.
Once he came to India and He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.
2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does……. He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… And the gangster dies….
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops not so fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).. Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits Suicide.
Once he came to India and He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.
2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does……. He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… And the gangster dies….
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops not so fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).. Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits Suicide.
Nov 14, 2006
“What happens if u stay late in the office”
It’s half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on… PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing… and who’s at work?
Most of them??? Take a closer look…
All or most specimens are 20-something male species of the human race… Look closer… again all or most of them are bachelors… and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let’s ask one of them…
Here’s what he says…
“What’s there 2 do after going home… here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee.. thats is why I am working late… importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!! ”
This is the scene in most research centres and software companies and other off-shore offices.
Bachelors “time-passing” during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they’ve nothing else to do…
Now what r the consequences… read on…
“Working”(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those “working” late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback,(oh, he’s a hard worker… goes home only to change..!!).They aren’t helping things too… To hell with bosses who don’t understand the difference between “sitting” late and “working” late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family… office is no longer a priority, family is… and that’s when the problem starts… becoz u start having commitments at home too.
For your boss, the earlier “hardworking” guy suddenly seems to become a “early leaver” even if u leave an hour after regulartime… after doing the same amount of work. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers…
Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays… though) leave on time are labeled as “not up to it”. All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on “working” not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.
*So what’s the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time
* Unless really needed
* Don’t stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues. There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music…
Learn a foreign language…
try a sport… TT, cricket………
IMPORTANTLY
* Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town…
* And for heaven’s sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
* Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *” Life’s calling, where are you?? “*
Most of them??? Take a closer look…
All or most specimens are 20-something male species of the human race… Look closer… again all or most of them are bachelors… and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let’s ask one of them…
Here’s what he says…
“What’s there 2 do after going home… here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee.. thats is why I am working late… importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!! ”
This is the scene in most research centres and software companies and other off-shore offices.
Bachelors “time-passing” during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they’ve nothing else to do…
Now what r the consequences… read on…
“Working”(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those “working” late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback,(oh, he’s a hard worker… goes home only to change..!!).They aren’t helping things too… To hell with bosses who don’t understand the difference between “sitting” late and “working” late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family… office is no longer a priority, family is… and that’s when the problem starts… becoz u start having commitments at home too.
For your boss, the earlier “hardworking” guy suddenly seems to become a “early leaver” even if u leave an hour after regulartime… after doing the same amount of work. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers…
Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays… though) leave on time are labeled as “not up to it”. All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on “working” not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.
*So what’s the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time
* Unless really needed
* Don’t stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues. There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music…
Learn a foreign language…
try a sport… TT, cricket………
IMPORTANTLY
* Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town…
* And for heaven’s sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
* Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *” Life’s calling, where are you?? “*
Corporate Lesson
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch. when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin. Clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story:
“Always let your boss has the first say”
The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin. Clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story:
“Always let your boss has the first say”
Girl Rejects…. Boy Faints……
Girl working in CPU of leading financial institution gets proposal for marriage, and rejects the boy as under:
Rejection Memo -
1. Photograph not clear..
2. Father name mismatch
3. Name on address proof does not match with communication address
4. Supporting documents does not bear “verified with original”
Boy completes the formalities and applies again. Girl sends proposal back :
1. Proposal does not bear KYC Cheque (Shagun)
2. Min Cheque of Rs 5200 required
3. Bank statement of last 3 months required
Boy does not get discouraged. He sends proposal back again. He also mentions that he has a house in his name that he bought on power of attorney recently . Another rejection follows:
1. Alteration in horoscope, requires authentication.
2. Whitener not allowed in document.
3. Power of Attorney holders cannot commence a relationship
Boy thinks ki aise baat nahin banegi. He sends back proposal with corrections with his aunt who is a common friend of both families. Girl rejects the proposal again:
1. Proposal came through aunt; additional document required to prove relationship
2. Applicants date of birth required/incorrect.
3. Introducer’s bank account details also required
Boy goes mad with anguish and writes a woeful letter to the girl stating the story of his heart in beautiful verses in urdu, punjabi and hindi.
Tears roll down his cheeks onto the paper summarising his distress. Girl receives letter, reads meticulously, and writes back a rejection memo to the boy:
1. Signature on love letter do not match with specimen
2. Parents/Guardians mandatory details not given
3. Documents received in vernacular language not authorized/ certification not as per KYC ID proof submitted.
4. Paper soggy, document not clear
The Boy Faints !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rejection Memo -
1. Photograph not clear..
2. Father name mismatch
3. Name on address proof does not match with communication address
4. Supporting documents does not bear “verified with original”
Boy completes the formalities and applies again. Girl sends proposal back :
1. Proposal does not bear KYC Cheque (Shagun)
2. Min Cheque of Rs 5200 required
3. Bank statement of last 3 months required
Boy does not get discouraged. He sends proposal back again. He also mentions that he has a house in his name that he bought on power of attorney recently . Another rejection follows:
1. Alteration in horoscope, requires authentication.
2. Whitener not allowed in document.
3. Power of Attorney holders cannot commence a relationship
Boy thinks ki aise baat nahin banegi. He sends back proposal with corrections with his aunt who is a common friend of both families. Girl rejects the proposal again:
1. Proposal came through aunt; additional document required to prove relationship
2. Applicants date of birth required/incorrect.
3. Introducer’s bank account details also required
Boy goes mad with anguish and writes a woeful letter to the girl stating the story of his heart in beautiful verses in urdu, punjabi and hindi.
Tears roll down his cheeks onto the paper summarising his distress. Girl receives letter, reads meticulously, and writes back a rejection memo to the boy:
1. Signature on love letter do not match with specimen
2. Parents/Guardians mandatory details not given
3. Documents received in vernacular language not authorized/ certification not as per KYC ID proof submitted.
4. Paper soggy, document not clear
The Boy Faints !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nov 13, 2006
Who is real guru!!! Student or Guru????
One night 4 mba students were boozing till late night and didn’t study
For the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and
that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the dean said they can have the retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the dean. The dean said that this was a special condition test.
All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days.
The test consisted of 2 questions
With total of 100 marks.
Q .1. Your name ……………………. (2 marks)
Q.2. which tire burst …………… (98 marks).
Words Women Use
Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means “something” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON’T DO IT!
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.
That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say you’re welcome and back out of the room slowly.
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG…
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW STRONG
SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER
IN HOT WATER
Engineer and MBA guy
An MBA graduate and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”
The Engineer asks “What does that tell you?”
The MBA ponders for a minute:
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.
”
”
”
“Practically…Someone has stolen our tent”.
“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”
The Engineer asks “What does that tell you?”
The MBA ponders for a minute:
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.
”
”
”
“Practically…Someone has stolen our tent”.
Amazing Puzzle
Shilpa is 21 years older than her son raju.
In 6 years from now Shilpa will be 5 times as old as raju.
Question: Where’s Shilpa’s Husband?
(There IS a mathematical solution for this..try it before you see the solution)
**********
**********
**********
.
.
.
.
.
Solution:
Shilpa (MOM ‘M’) is 21 years older than Raju (Child ‘C’).
M = C + 21
In 6 years from now the mom will be 5 times as old as the child.
M + 6 = ( C + 6 ) x 5
C + 21 + 6 = ( C + 6) x 5
C + 27 = 5C + 30
-3 = 4C
C = -3/4
The child is -3/4 year old, that’s -9 months.
Child will be born in 9 months.
So, right now, Shilpa’s Husband is on top of her
Nov 12, 2006
A True Love Story (Very touching)!!!!!!!!!
This is indeed very touching………
A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.
When the girl’s father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl’s father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said “If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each othertruly.”
So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl’s mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter’s dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
she washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up… and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked “What is this…?”
The old lady replied…
“Try Surf Exel Washing powder… just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!” .
A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.
When the girl’s father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl’s father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them.
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said “If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each othertruly.”
So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl’s mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter’s dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
she washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained.
Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up… and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked “What is this…?”
The old lady replied…
“Try Surf Exel Washing powder… just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!” .
Global Warming
Ten ways to reduce your carbon footprint at workAdd to Clippings
==================================================================
The signs have been around for a long time. Now people finally seem to be waking up to the threat posed by global warming. Last week, Nicholas Stern, the British government’s chief economist, delivered an ominous report on climate change, arguing that developed nations must cut emissions from burning oil and coal by between 60% and 80% by ’50.
“If we take no action to control emissions, each tonne of carbon dioxide that we emit now is causing damage worth at least $85,” Stern said as his report was released in London. “These costs are not included when investors and consumers make decisions about how to spend their money.”
There is still room to argue about how fast the environment is being destroyed. Nobody can dispute it is happening, though. So what can you do at work to reduce your own carbon footprint?
It isn’t that hard. Here are 10 ways you could make a start today.
One: Forget about that sales meeting in Frankfurt. There is no more pointless or wasteful human activity than platoons of business people trooping off to airports every week so they can all gather in an anonymous hotel and moan about the boss while pretending to be working. OK, so it’s a relief to escape the wife and kids for a few days, but hardly worth destroying the planet for. How about investing in some teleconferencing equipment instead?
Two: Change your expenses policy. Lots of people use planes for business travel because they are faster and more comfortable, and you can collect air miles for the next family holiday. How about telling staff they can go first-class if they use the train for a business trip, but they can only travel coach if they go by plane? It will be amazing how fast their bookings change.
Three: Switch off those lights. It is striking how you can wander around any city centre late at night and see office buildings ablaze with lights. Tell everybody that they have to switch them off as they leave the office. Even better, fix the lighting so it cuts out automatically at 10 pm — it is impossible for people to think straight later than that, and they would be better off going home anyway.
Four : Review your supply chain. We have all grown used to buying fresh vegetables flown halfway around the world when we go to the supermarket. How about the stuff on our desk? Most of us have no idea where any of it comes from. So make sure that as many goods as possible are being sourced locally or from environmentally responsible suppliers. You may even wonder if you really need those yellow post-it notes. Send an e-mail instead.
Five: Unplug the computer. How many of us can even remember that these things have an off switch? Instead we just leave them on permanent stand-by. By switching them off when we’re not using them, we can start cutting down on power consumption.
Six: Get rid of the plasma screens. When did it become fashionable to plaster office walls with great big plasma screens tuned to 24-hour channels? You can keep up-to-date with the latest happenings on the Web. Unless you’re in the news business, you don’t need it following you around all day.
Seven: Turn off the air-conditioning. Where does it say that people have to be slightly chilly to get their work done? We can understand why an office building in Hong Kong needs the air-con on during July. It is less clear why you need it in London in March.
We have all been to offices where you can walk there in your shirt sleeves, then have to put on your jacket when you arrive because it’s cold. It’s crazy. Ask them to switch it off.
Eight: If you can’t cut, offset. There are plenty of ways to compensate for those carbon emissions you can’t avoid. If the flight to New York is vital, make up for it by paying for some trees to be planted elsewhere. Or instead of driving the car to work every day this month, take public transport.
Nine: Give people an incentive. It is easy for a company to target lower carbon use. It is harder to achieve it. So make it an explicit financial goal and award everyone a bonus — as long as they meet the target.
Ten: Don’t go to the office at all. You burn up gasoline getting there and back. Resources are used providing you with a desk and computer. And all so you can keep an eye on your employees. Why not let everyone work from home at least one day a week — after all, it will be one less day they have to complain to each other about their boss.
You don’t need to be signed up to a vegan, anti-capitalist agenda to be worried about global warming. Indeed, a few simple steps will make a big difference. Who knows, they might even make your business more efficient as well.
==================================================================
The signs have been around for a long time. Now people finally seem to be waking up to the threat posed by global warming. Last week, Nicholas Stern, the British government’s chief economist, delivered an ominous report on climate change, arguing that developed nations must cut emissions from burning oil and coal by between 60% and 80% by ’50.
“If we take no action to control emissions, each tonne of carbon dioxide that we emit now is causing damage worth at least $85,” Stern said as his report was released in London. “These costs are not included when investors and consumers make decisions about how to spend their money.”
There is still room to argue about how fast the environment is being destroyed. Nobody can dispute it is happening, though. So what can you do at work to reduce your own carbon footprint?
It isn’t that hard. Here are 10 ways you could make a start today.
One: Forget about that sales meeting in Frankfurt. There is no more pointless or wasteful human activity than platoons of business people trooping off to airports every week so they can all gather in an anonymous hotel and moan about the boss while pretending to be working. OK, so it’s a relief to escape the wife and kids for a few days, but hardly worth destroying the planet for. How about investing in some teleconferencing equipment instead?
Two: Change your expenses policy. Lots of people use planes for business travel because they are faster and more comfortable, and you can collect air miles for the next family holiday. How about telling staff they can go first-class if they use the train for a business trip, but they can only travel coach if they go by plane? It will be amazing how fast their bookings change.
Three: Switch off those lights. It is striking how you can wander around any city centre late at night and see office buildings ablaze with lights. Tell everybody that they have to switch them off as they leave the office. Even better, fix the lighting so it cuts out automatically at 10 pm — it is impossible for people to think straight later than that, and they would be better off going home anyway.
Four : Review your supply chain. We have all grown used to buying fresh vegetables flown halfway around the world when we go to the supermarket. How about the stuff on our desk? Most of us have no idea where any of it comes from. So make sure that as many goods as possible are being sourced locally or from environmentally responsible suppliers. You may even wonder if you really need those yellow post-it notes. Send an e-mail instead.
Five: Unplug the computer. How many of us can even remember that these things have an off switch? Instead we just leave them on permanent stand-by. By switching them off when we’re not using them, we can start cutting down on power consumption.
Six: Get rid of the plasma screens. When did it become fashionable to plaster office walls with great big plasma screens tuned to 24-hour channels? You can keep up-to-date with the latest happenings on the Web. Unless you’re in the news business, you don’t need it following you around all day.
Seven: Turn off the air-conditioning. Where does it say that people have to be slightly chilly to get their work done? We can understand why an office building in Hong Kong needs the air-con on during July. It is less clear why you need it in London in March.
We have all been to offices where you can walk there in your shirt sleeves, then have to put on your jacket when you arrive because it’s cold. It’s crazy. Ask them to switch it off.
Eight: If you can’t cut, offset. There are plenty of ways to compensate for those carbon emissions you can’t avoid. If the flight to New York is vital, make up for it by paying for some trees to be planted elsewhere. Or instead of driving the car to work every day this month, take public transport.
Nine: Give people an incentive. It is easy for a company to target lower carbon use. It is harder to achieve it. So make it an explicit financial goal and award everyone a bonus — as long as they meet the target.
Ten: Don’t go to the office at all. You burn up gasoline getting there and back. Resources are used providing you with a desk and computer. And all so you can keep an eye on your employees. Why not let everyone work from home at least one day a week — after all, it will be one less day they have to complain to each other about their boss.
You don’t need to be signed up to a vegan, anti-capitalist agenda to be worried about global warming. Indeed, a few simple steps will make a big difference. Who knows, they might even make your business more efficient as well.
Nov 11, 2006
Friends ~~~ Best Friends
Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz! they can’t remember it)
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story
Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you
Friend: would delete this letter
Best friend: will send this back to me and all of their online buddies
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes herself at home
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number
(cuz! they can’t remember it)
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story
Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you
Friend: would delete this letter
Best friend: will send this back to me and all of their online buddies
Newton Vs Rajanikanth
Newton-The Father of Physics commited suicide, you know why. Here is the reason.
Once he came to India and He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.
2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does……. He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… And the gangster dies….
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops not so fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).. Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits Suicide.
Once he came to India and He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.
2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does……. He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… And the gangster dies….
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops not so fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).. Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits Suicide.
Appraisal Letter - Award Winning Short Story
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.
Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colours.
Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed…. My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”… As a fellow worker in the same industry , I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee’s name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!!
While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “wake up man. Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready”
Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colours.
Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed…. My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”… As a fellow worker in the same industry , I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee’s name in the appraisal letter… hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!!
While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind……… splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “wake up man. Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready”
Nov 10, 2006
A collection of Sardar’s Joke -- 2
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ‘’Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM'’.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says “CHIN YU YAN” and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is ‘U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!”
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what…—To avoid side effect!!!
Man: Sardarji where were u born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab”.
IN COURT during a case: Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke ….. Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho…..
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don’t know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says “please recharge your card”
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, “For best results put on two coats”
A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258.
Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard… BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept……..
Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ‘’Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM'’.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says “CHIN YU YAN” and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is ‘U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!”
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what…—To avoid side effect!!!
Man: Sardarji where were u born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab”.
IN COURT during a case: Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke ….. Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho…..
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don’t know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says “please recharge your card”
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, “For best results put on two coats”
A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258.
Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard… BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept……..
Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
A collection of Sardar’s Joke -- 1
A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth…………….. Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It’s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This PacketSardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar’s wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth…………….. Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It’s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This PacketSardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar’s wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..