Dec 13, 2006
Checkout the meaning of your NAME
Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name
means. Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (Its
TRUE!!) (Isn’t it GREAT!!)
PS: If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.
For Example: SUNNY
S - You are very broad-minded.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people’s standards.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
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A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you, don’t be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
J Jealously
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people’s standards.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
W You like your privacy.
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You’re always fighting with someone
Kaun Banega Crore Pati claims its first victim!
That’s why; I called a lawyer immediately and filed divorce papers.” She also added that all her friends and relatives supported her move.
She also dismissed the suggestion that her husband, for motives best known to him, could have deliberately flunked the question. Mr. Pankaj Arora, a property dealer in one of the colonies of East Delhi, was happy when he got the news from the Star TV network that he had got selected, one among millions, for participating in the popular show and he considered himself lucky to be so chosen. He was also told to bring his wife along to the studios at Mumbai where the game shows were to be hosted by Mr Amitabh Bachhan. Winning a crore was hardly in the mind of Mr Arora and all Mr Pankaj Arora wanted to do there was to gape at his idol and may be he thought he could try to sell him a few of the plots of his clients to Amitabh at a small tidy margin. But Mrs Arora was made of sterner stuff.
Mrs Neelam Arora, ever the ambitious wife, now took charge of her indolent husband. She hired the best tutor from Sachdev Tutorials, made him learn all the countries and capitals in the world, currencies of different countries, names of different states,rivers,towns in the country etc.
After 3 weeks of gruelling schedule of cramming, Mr Arora and Mrs Arora confidently embarked on their journey to Mumbai, little knowing that the game show was to change their lives forever. Mr Arora was one among the 10 hopefuls selected for the ‘fastest finger first’ event.
Amitabh appeared in flesh and blood and Mr Pankaj Arora, whose lifetime ambition, was to see his childhood hero in person, felt a sense of fulfillment and pressed some buttons in a hurry. Mr Arora couldn’t believe it! Mrs Neelam Arora felt like a mother whose favourite kid had won the best baby show. Not only had he given correct answers, but he had done so even before others could begin!
There was a hubbub around the auditorium as Mr Pankaj Arora gingerly took the seat from Amitabh for everyone was convinced that history was going to be made that day. There was suspense in the air and the audience could sense money floating all around them. Amitabh Bachhan started the show by smiling benignly at the nervous Mr Arora, the kind of smile he would give to a ABCL investor, clapped his hands and read out the question.
“Mr Pankaj Arora, yehi hai aap ka pehla sawaal. Who wrote ‘Valmiki Ramayan’? The choices are A. Tulsidas B. Ramanand Sagar C. B R Chopra D. Valmiki?” Mr Pankaj Arora very promptly said, “Ramanand Sagar!”. He had not forgotten the days when he used to get up early on Sundays solely to watch the epic. Amitabh again smiled the benign smile, cajoled him to use his lifeline, audience poll etc., but Mr Pankaj Arora, like a true blue property dealer, didn’t budge from his position. He later told everyone sobbingly that he wanted to preserve the lifelines for using them after touching the 25 lac mark Amitabh commisserated with him and told a shocked Mr Arora that his answer was wrong. The pin-drop silence that followed immediately was only to be broken by loud angry shriek from a female, that evidently from a female, who had been done in by her husband.
She shouted immediately, “Is there a lawyer in the house?”.
Before the pandemonium that broke out could settle in, Mr Arora and Mrs Arora had parted ways as husband and wife. This event has caused great sensation among the community of TV viewers and the effect has been electric among the chronic followers of this game show.
Whether this ‘wife-divorcing-husband -for-flunking-the-first- question’ event, will drive away all husbands from the show or pull them with magnetic attraction to the greatest TV game show ever, only time alone can tell.
George Bush at Primary School
“Bob”. “And what is your question, Bob?”
“I have 3 questions.”
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh that’s right — question time. Who has a question?”
A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is?
“Steve”. “And what is your question, Steve?”
“I have 5 questions.”
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!
And fifth, where is “Bob”?!!
Dec 12, 2006
The most difficult task
These are Girls ads taken from shaadi.com these are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this ….
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- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart… when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Sowmya ~*~
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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?)
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Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
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he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. he should be educated.
(ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……. hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
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i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot
(I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)
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My husband should be as ‘Shiva’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT……
(Ok I haven’t seen these soaps but I am sure she must be demanding too much, ain’t he?)
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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? ahem…)
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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2.THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND
3.THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing)
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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would bde called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)
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HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK
(the “ok syndrome” again)
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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater & mother sister complity marred
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’?)
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iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
(actually what is this girl doing? Postal service or tailor.??)
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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )
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Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he have a frank he’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good girl. My father already expired . iam ‘’AEKLAUTA'’. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye.
(uttama purishinin)
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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)
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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT.
(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)
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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good’. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …
(but credit cards not accepted..???)
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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
(Zebra..???)
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i’m looking out for who lives in bombay, boy simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.
(Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)
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to be married on jan-2006. working man perferable
(this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a groom. I wish his best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one soon.)
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i would like a beautyfull boy. and i do not want his any treasure.because boy is the maharaja.
(Now he is going to be a lucky boy! Any takers?)
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ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present.
(Any takers again?)
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Gone are the days …
When we queued up in book depot, And got our new books and notes.
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and… Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips…
We began drawing with crayons and evolved to Colour pencils and finally sketch pens…
We started calculating first with tables and then with Clarke’s tables and advanced to calculators and computers.
When we chased one another in the corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat…
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors, playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds.
When a single P.T. period in the week’s Time Table was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons.
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats, And Neckties and socks rolled into balls.
When few played “kabadi” and “Kho-Kho” in scorching sun, While others simply played “book cricket” in the Confines of classroom.
Gone are the days… Of fights but no conspiracies,Of Competitions but seldom jealousy…
When we used to watch Live Cricket telecast,In the opposite house during Intervals and Lunch breaks.
When few rushed at 4:00 to “Conquer” window seats in our School bus. While few others had “Big Fun”, “peppermint”, “kulfi”, “milk ice !” and “sharbat !” at 4 o’Clock…
Gone are the days of Sports Day, and the annual School Day , And the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are the days Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most enjoyed holidays after them.
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when we Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests…
We learnt, we enjoyed, we played, we won, we lost…We laughed, we cried, we fought, we thought…
With so much fun in them, so many friends, So much experience , all this and more…
Gone are the days when we used to talk for hours with our friends… Now we don’t have time to say a HI…
Gone are the days when we played games on the road.Now we code on the road with laptop…
DON’T MISS THIS ONE…
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Gone are the days when we saw stars shining at night.
Now we see stars when our code doesn’t work.
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Gone are the days when we sat to chat with friends on grounds. Now we chat in chat rooms…..
Gone are the days where we studied just to pass. Now we study to save our job…
Gone are the days where we had no money in our pockets and fun filled on our hearts… Now we have the atm as well as credit card but with an empty heart…
Gone are the days where we shouted on the road. Now we dont shout even at home…
Gone are the days where we got lectures from all. Now we give lectures to all… like the one I’m doing now….
Gone are the days… But not the memories…
Which will be Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and Ever and ever and Ever…
NO MATTER HOW BUSY WE ARE , LETS NOT FORGET TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS…
Send To Your Boss
People who do less work… make less mistakes
People who do no work… make no mistakes
People who make no mistakes… gets promoted
That’s why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.
Dad and Daughter — Lovely Story
It’s said that we have a choice to make. I’ve chosen. Now it’s your turn to choose.
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became even more upset when the child pasted the gold paper so as to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” The father was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He spoke to her in a harsh manner, “Don’t you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there’s supposed to be something inside the package?
The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, “Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was full.”
The father was crushed…. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.
An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the father kept that gold box by his bed for all the years of his life.
And whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems, he would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
Dec 11, 2006
Amazing power of the human brain
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt..
Sachin & Sourav
Sachin turns to Sourav and says, “Do you think there’s cricket in heaven?”
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal: if I die first, I’ll come back and tell you if there’s cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.” They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes on.
One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, “Sourav… Sourav!”
Ganguly responds, “Sachin! Is that you?” “Yes it is, Sourav,” whispers Sachin’s ghost.
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, “So, is there cricket in heaven?” “Well,” says Sachin, “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
“Gimme the good news first,” says Ganguly.
Sachin says, “Well… there is cricket in heaven.” Ganguly says, “That’s great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?”
Sachin sighs and whispers, “You are going to open the innings on Friday.”
Intriguing Equations!!:
2. One Chinese gymnast = India’s Gold Medal tally since 1896
3. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.
4. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.
5. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 minute song in a Hindi movie.
6. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company = Kajol
7. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.
8. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek Bachchan
9. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan
10. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda
11. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan
12. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt
13. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol
14. One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four hundred Relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One sooraj Barjataya Film
15…. This one is the best of all………. Software Engg (or) Process Executives + No Work = Forwards
Health - Recognizing a stroke!
During a outdoor dinner at a seaside resort near Chennai, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Lakshmi (name changed) went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.
Her husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm, Lakshmi passed away). She had suffered a stroke at the dinner- had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke perhaps Lakshmi would be alive today.
It only takes a minute to read this:
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed and getting to the patient within 3 hours which is tough. There is nothing more life saving than getting the patient to the hospital in the FIRST ONE HOUR! The Golden Hour it is now known as to Doctors and emergency attendants alike!
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Remember the “3″ steps. Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
1. *Ask the individual to SMILE. 2. *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. 3. *Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. . . It is sunny out today). If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call emergency immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
BE A FRIEND AND SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH AS MANY FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE, and you could save their lives.
Dec 10, 2006
THE DOOR BELL
Horrified, she replied, “Are you mad?My parents will see us!”
“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” He asked grinning at her.
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
“Oh come on!
There’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”.No way. It’s just too risky!”
“Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?”
“No, no, and no.I love you too, but I just can’t!”.
“Oh yes you can. Please?”
“No, no.I just can’t” “I’m begging you … “
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl’s older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she said, “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God’s sake and all of ours….
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!”
10 Things to Think
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why is it called building when it is already built?
7. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
8. If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
9. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Humans ???
10. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???
Dec 9, 2006
Really cool and good answers
the teacher asked, “Boy. What is your problem?”
Boy. Answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Boy. Was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Boy: “9″.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Boy: “36″.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy. Can go to the third-grade.”
Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?”
The principal and Boy. Both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy: after a moment “Legs.”
Ms Neelam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Boy: “Pockets.”
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some menthan on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”
Really cool and good answers………….. That show how far we have moved from our childhood……….
Link between human & god is FAITH
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student : Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student :Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student : From…God…
Prof: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student :Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son…Have you ever seen God?
Student : No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student : No , sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light…. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness
isn’t. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelled it?…..No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no
brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it, sir.. The link between human& god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
u know who this young man was G0
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ALBERT EINSTEIN…….
Dec 7, 2006
Google’s Translation
02. Click ‘language tools’ link.
03. Write “Aishwarya’s mom is very nice” in ‘Translate text:’ textbox.
04. Select “English to Spanish” in the below combo.
05. Press Translate and wait for translation.
06. Now copy the translated text from the above text and paste it in the ‘Translate text:’ textbox.
07. Select “Spanish to English” in the below combo.
08. Press Translate and wait for translation.
09. Enjoy.
SMS Short Cuts
| #-) Partied all night | C - see/sea |
L E M O N J U I C E
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and 5-6 drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?”
“No,” replied the man.
“I work as a project manager in a software company!”
Dec 6, 2006
Heart Care Tips ---- 2
A. Yes, most drugs have some side effects. However, modern anti-hypertensive drugs are extremely safe.
Q Will consuming more coffee/tea lead to heart attacks?
A. No
Q What are the chances of lean people developing heart complications? Are they at less risk?
A. Obese people are at a higher risk. Lean people also develop heart attacks, but primarily because of genetic predisposition.
Q Is it true that after open-heart surgery, patients lose memory-recall to some extent?
A. No. Especially after bypass grafting on a beating heart, incidence of neurological problems have come down significantly.
Q Are Asthma patients more prone to heart disease?
A. No
Q How would you define junk food?
A. Fried food like Kentucky, McDonalds, Samosas, and even Masala Dosas.
Q You mentioned that Indians are three times more vulnerable. What is the reason for this, as Europeans and Americans also eat a lot of junk food ?
A. Every race is vulnerable to some disease and unfortunately Indians are vulnerable for the most expensive disease.
Q Does consuming bananas help reduce hypertension?
A. No
Q Is there any cure for chronic palpitations?
A. The patient should be investigated and if there is a cause for palpitation like an electrical abnormality of the heart, this can be rectified by a procedure called radio-frequency-ablation.
Q How would you rate the health facilities currently available in India?
A. There are institutions, which are as good or even better than the one in the US and Europe. However, they are exceptions. In general, the qualities of health-care available to the masses are poor.
Q If there is a small hole in the heart, what are the possible ways of curing it? Is operation the only solution?
A. Small holes in children less than 6 months of age usually closes. But the decision not to operate should be taken by the specialists who are experts in treating children with heart problems.
Q Are emotions really controlled by heart?
A. No. The heart is just a slave of the brain and it is the brain, which controls the emotions.
Q If a person does not do any physical exercise, he is bound to have shortness of breath on exertion; say climbing stairs. Is this an indication of heart disease?
A. No. But if one has difficulty in breathing on mild exertion, it is better to go for a heart check-up.
Q Can a person help himself during a heart attack?
A. Yes. Lie down comfortably and put an aspirin tablet of any description under the tongue and ask someone to take you to the nearest coronary-care-unit without any delay and do not wait for the ambulance since most of the time, the ambulance does not turn up.
Q Do, in any way, low white-blood-cells and low hemoglobin-count lead to heart problems?
A. No. But it is ideal to have normal hemoglobin level to increase your exercise capacity.
Q Sometimes, due to the hectic schedule, we are not able to exercise. So, does walking while doing daily chores at home or climbing the stairs in the house, work as a substitute for exercise?
A. Certainly. Avoid sitting continuously for more than half an hour and even the act of getting out of the chair and going to another chair and sitting helps a lot.
Q Is there a relation between heart problems and blood sugar?
A. Yes. A strong relationship is there since diabetics are more vulnerable to heart attacks than non-diabetics.
Q Do bypass surgeries reduce the risk of future heart attacks ?
A. It significantly reduces the risk of heart attack.
Q What are the things one needs to take care of after a heart operation?
A. Diet, exercise, drugs on time. Control Cholesterol, BP and weight.
Q Are people working on night shifts more vulnerable to heart disease when compared to day shift workers?
A. No.
Q Can you brief us about angina attack? How major it is?
A. Angina is the pain, which comes on exertion and goes away with rest and medication. One has to be investigated in detail to plan treatment.
Q What are the modern anti-hypertensive drugs?
A. There are hundreds of drugs and your doctor will chose the right combination for your problem. But my suggestion is to avoid the drugs and go for natural ways of controlling blood pressure by walk, diet to reduce weight and changing attitudes towards lifestyle.
Q Does dispirin or similar headache pills increase the risk of heart attacks?
A. No
Q If there is about 85 percent blockage in the arteries, can the person be treated without surgery? If not, what other remedies and the power of your heart muscles
A. It depends on collateral or natural bypass, the quality of other arteries and the power of your heart muscles. It’s impossible to give an opinion without seeing the angiography film.
Q There is a feeling that bypass is unnecessarily being performed in some cases. When is bypass really needed?
A. When you have blockages affecting major arteries, bypass is the best option. I am sure, conscientious doctors will not perform an operation when it is not required.
Q Is it true that mechanical valves can fail any moment?
A. No. If you take medication to prevent clot formation and maintain the INR at accepted levels, the valve cannot get blocked. However, like any mechanical gadget, it can fail and fortunately, such incidences are extremely low.
Q Can you brief me on pulmonary stenosys problems? What are the complications involved and what care needs to be taken?
A. In this condition, the pulmonary valve is narrower at birth and putting a balloon across the valve and dilating it can easily correct it.
Q Why is it the rate of heart attacks more in men than in women?
A. Nature protects women till the age of 45.
Q How can one keep the heart in a good condition?
A. Eat a healthy diet, avoid junk food, exercise every day, do not smoke and, go for a health checkup if you are past the age of 30 for at least once in two years. And WORK VERY HARD.
***Courtesy : PERSONNEL TODAY, a journal of National Institute of Personnel Management
Dec 5, 2006
Heart Care Tips --- 1
Q What are the five thumb rules for a layman to take care of his heart?
A. 1. Diet – Less of carbohydrate, more of protein, less oil.
2. Exercise – half an hour’s walk, at least five days a week. Avoid lifts and avoid sitting for a long time.
3. Quit smoking
4. Control weight
5. Control blood pressure and sugar.
Q Is eating non-veg food (fish) good for the heart?
A. No
Q. It’s still a grave shock to hear that some apparently healthy person get a cardiac arrest. How do we understand it in perspective?
A. This is called silent attack. That is why, we recommend everyone past the age of 30 to undergo routine health check-ups.
Q Are heart diseases hereditary?
A. Yes
Q What are the ways in which the heart is stressed? What practices do you suggest to de-stress?
A. Change your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.
Q Is walking better than jogging or is more intensive exercise required to keep a healthy heart?
A. Walking is better than jogging since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints.
Q You have done so much for the poor and needy. What has inspired you to do so?
A. Mother Theresa, who was my patient.
Q Can people with low blood pressure suffer heart diseases?
A. Extremely rare.
Q Does cholesterol accumulate right from an early age (I’m currently only 22) or do you have to worry about it only after you are above 30 years of age?
A. Cholesterol accumulates from childhood.
Q How do irregular eating habits affect the heart?
A. You tend to eat junk food when the habits are irregular and your body’s enzyme releases for digestion gets confused.
Q Can a healthy person without a medical history have a heart attack due to stress?
A. Extremely rare
Q How can I control cholesterol content without using medicines?
A. Control diet, walk and eat walnut.
Q Can yoga prevent heart ailments?
A. Yoga helps
Q, which is the best and worst food for the heart?
A. Best food is fruits, worst are oils.
Q If a person has undergone angioplasty, what are the chances of the stent getting displaced?
A. Stent doesn’t get displaced. It can get blocked. You could prevent it by controlling sugar, cholesterol and taking medication to prevent clots.
Q Do negative emotions like depression or anger always cause heart disease?
A. Not always. On the other hand, positive emotions help recovery of the heart.
Q I have read about music therapy for the heart and the mind. What is your opinion on this?
A. Guess, it helps.
Q Which oil is better – gingili, groundnut, sunflower, saffola, olive?
A. All oils are bad. The so-called best oil company has the largest marketing budget.
Q What is the routine check-up one should go through? Is there any specific test?
A. Routine blood test to ensure sugar, cholesterol is ok. Check BP, Treadmill test after an echo.
Q How different was it in treating Noor Fatima, the little kid from Pakistan?
A. It was extremely difficult because of the media attention. As far as the medical treatment is concerned, she was like any other child with a complex heart problem.
Q What are the first aid steps to be taken on a heart attack ?
A. Help the person into a sleeping position, put an Aspirin tablet under the tongue with a Sorbitrate tablet if available, and rush him to coronary care unit since the maximum casualty takes place within the first hour.
Q How do you differentiate between pain caused by a heart attack and that cause due to gastric trouble ?
A. Extremely difficult without ECG.
Q Can drinking less water lead to heart problems ?
A. No. However, drinking plenty of water in normal people helps preserve good health.
Q Is it true that diabetic women seem to have 3 to 7 times greater risk of developing heart diseases than non-diabetic women? Is it the same with high BP patients as well ?
A. Women are protected by the hormones till the age of 45. After that, their risk increases like men and in general, the result of treatment on heart patients who are women is slightly poorer than men.
Q What are some of the precautions during pregnancy to avoid heart problems in the new born ?
A. German measles, which causes congenital abnormalities in the babies. No smoking.
Q What is the main cause of a steep increase in heart problems amongst youngsters? I see people of about 30-40 years of age having heart attacks and serious heart problems.
A. Increased awareness has increased incidents. Also, sedentary lifestyles, smoking, junk food, lack of exercise in a country where people are genetically three times more vulnerable for heart attacks than Europeans and Americans.
Q What is the right time to check the BP in any person?
A. Past the age of 30 and earlier, if you have symptoms.
Q Is it possible for a person for a person to have BP outside the normal range of 120/80 and yet to be perfectly healthy ?
A. Yes
Q Are there any symptoms for heart problems, which we need to be aware of ?
A. Shortness of breath on exertion, and chest pain.
Q If a person has had a heart attack, how frequently is regular heart check-up recommend?
A. Once in 6 months.
Q Marriages within close relatives can lead to heart problems for the child. Is it true?
A. Yes, co-sanguinity leads to congenital abnormalities and you may not have a software engineer as a child.
Q Many of us have an irregular daily routine and many a time we have to stay in office till late nights. Does this affect our heart? What precautions would you recommend?
A. When you are young, nature protects you against all these irregularities. However, as you grow older, respect the biological clock.
Q How can we find out about blockage of arteries, beforehand?
A. Routine cardiac evaluation by blood test, ECGs, TMTs, Stress Thallium Scan, Cardiac CT Scan for Calcium score.
Q Does a recurring pain in the left arm signify any heart related ailment?
A. Usually, you get chest discomfort or shortness of breath, months or years before the heart attack. So, when in doubt, go for a heart check-up, which should not take more than a couple of hours.
Continued .........
Dec 4, 2006
What is Effective Communication??
Math student’s love letter!!!
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element
A BEAUTIFUL PRAYER….
God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No. You must grow on your own! , but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said…Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
THIS DAY IS YOURS DON’T THROW IT AWAY May God Bless You, “To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world”
Who works for India?!
The population of India is 100 crores.
100,000,00,000
But 19 crores are retired.
-19,000,00,000
That leaves 81 crores do the work.
81,000,00,000
There are 25 crores in school,
-25,000,00,000
which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
56,000,00,000
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Govt ,
-22,000,00,000
leaving 34 crores to do the work.
34,000,00,000
4 crores are in the Armed Forces,
-4,000,00,000
which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
30,000,00,0 00
Take away from above total the 20 crores people work
for State Governments
(State Government employees officially do not work!)
-20,000,00,000
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
10,000,00,000
Total unemployed are 8 crores
-8,000,00,000
and that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
2,000,00,000
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in
hospitals,
-1,200,00,000
leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
80,00,000
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are
79,99,998
people are in prisons throughout the country.
-79,99,998
That leaves just 2 people to do the work…….
You and me!!!
And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading Blogs .
So I am
the only person in our country who is working! And that’s why
India is surviving!!!
Now, please log out and do your job because, for a change, I
want to rest. And I don’t want India to suffer because of that!
Nov 24, 2006
i never take a risk… A leaflet from a drunkard’s diary
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it Becoz
I never take a risk
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Qucikly enjoy one peg Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
I peep into the kitchen Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did Becoz
i never take a risk
I: Any news on Iyer’s daughter’s marriage
She: Nope, she doesn’t seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her
I again come out;
there is a small noise of the black cupboard
But I don’t make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did Becoz
I never take a risk
I: But still I think Iyer’s daughter’s age is not that much
She: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old… like an aged horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh…
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard’s place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink
Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes and wash Shivaji Maharaj’s photo and keep it in the black cupboard
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did Becoz
I never take a risk
I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you say that again, I will cut your tongue…!
She: Don’t just blabber something, go out and sit quietly…
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did Becoz
I never take a risk
I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
She: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face…
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what i did Becoz
Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
Iyer is still cooking And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing Becoz
i never take a risk
May I know the time please?!
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtesy, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: made it Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles. ;)
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch
Nov 23, 2006
WHO IS BEHIND THE DEATH OF ………???????
Bush’s father who was the man who started this out. He got Bin trained in U.S. Military camps to divide U.S.S.R into pieces. Bin played a major part to divide Asia’s biggest country U.S.S.R.
This was not the end. Bush was asked by bin to give him the full control of Afgan, turkey, etc. Bush rejected his proposal. And sent U.S. Soldiers to kill Bin. Since then Bin is waiting for a chance to destroy Bush.
Bush lost elections. And Bin kept quiet for sometime. Finally when Bush’s son came as U.S. President he got chance. And that was WTC blast.
These two people, who run after each other, show they are doing this for the better of people. But to say real. They are the cause for distraction. They are greedy for power.
None of them is a saint. You sent a mail saying who is behind the death of…….670 soldiers. But can you tell me who is behind the death of 246 Indian’s working in WTC?
A Great Message
Ready!
Steady!
Bang!!!
With the sound of Toy pistol,all eight girls started running. Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she started crying.
* When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped running, stood for a while and turned back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down. One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired ‘Now pain must have reduced’.
* All seven girls lifted the fallen girl, pacified her, two of them held the girl firmly and they all seven joined hands together and walked together and reached the winning post.
* Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the stadium. Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it had reached the GOD even!
* YES. This happened in Hyderabad [INDIA], recently !
* The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health. All these special girls had come to participate in this event and they are spastic children.
* Yes, they were mentally retarded. What did they teach this world?
* Teamwork?
* Humanity?
* Equality among all?????
Woman Dictionary
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = my correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain Sure
go ahead = I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? =Too late, you’re dead
Woman Mentality
The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
“Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”
The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?”
So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day !!!
Nov 22, 2006
Symptoms of IT People
1.) U use phrases like “No issues” and “Value addition” in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, “His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues”
2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.
3.) U drink more tea or coffee than water.
4.) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)
5.) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive the call.
6.) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial “0″to get an outside line.
7.) U haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
8.) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.
9.) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.
10.) Ur important ‘meetings’ usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.
11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.
13.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.
14.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.
15.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are also in IT.
16.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12
17.)U r not sure so u scroll back check it .
18.)And now u r smiling
Am sure u did steps 16 to 18.
Test your eyes
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS…
HOW MANY?
……………… 3?
WRONG, THERE IS 6 — no joke... READ IT AGAIN!
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process “OF”. Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 “F’s” on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Richest country……amazing news
Wondering how? It’s really amazing. It’s due to Mr. G Vaidyaraj, who donated all his wealth, about which he actually did not know.
He is a descendant of Raja Krishnadev Raya from Mysore district.
For the last 300 years or so, three stones were worshiped in his house.But nobody tried to see what it was, except this person, who is a lawyer by profession.One day, when there was nobody in his house, he took the stone out to see what it was that they worship.
Due to the dust deposited on it, from many many years, it looked only like a simple stone. But when he touched it, some portion of the stone was cleansed.
And he saw a bright ray of light. He saw something which attracted his attention. And he was amazed when he cleaned all of them.The whole room was filled with light.
He discovered they were diamonds of about 4600 carats each. He informed the Govt. of India and the news is censored with its security. It’s now deposited in a Swiss Bank.
The cost of single diamond exceeds the GDP of USA + UK. India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.
Even World Bank does not have enough money to buy it.
One diamond costs thrice the debt of World Bank over India.
One such diamond can buy 10 Bill Gates to you.
And the World Bank has proposed the Indian Govt. that it can pay India in Installment if it wishes to do so.
India’s GDP is 34.25 billion dollars.
Bill Gates property is 95 billion dollars approximate so that is the way “nature changes”.
Our Prime Minister has refused to sell it.
He said it will be sold or mortgaged for credit when we need it. Otherwise right now we have no problems.
You can go through Times of India with a small column on it some time ago.
Star TV presented a 115 min documentary on it about 15 days ago(Some time back).
The Hindu with its half page article in it.
After that it was censored as classified.
Another good news is that in the Desert of Thar a deposit of Oil and Natural gas have been found. This stores what Kuwait has in its stomach.
India can go with this ONGC energy reserve with another 30 years.
And moreover it can export it to other counties.
It’s incredible!! But true.
An Indian boy in his 12th standard has disproved Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity”.
Shocked? Read on…
Sudarshan Reddy has theoretically proven the existence of a subatomic particle, which can travel at speed greater than that of light, thereby challenging one of the fundamental postulates of the “Theory of Relativity”.
In his recent research paper submitted to the Institute of Advanced Physics (IAP) at Trieste (Italy), Sudarshan has proved the existence of a class of subatomic particles called “leptons”,which can travel faster than light.
The international physics community is shocked by this discovery.
Dr.Massimo Martelli, President of the IAP has this to say about the paper submitted by Sudarshan. “After long, careful and critical analysis, I can confidently say that Sudarshan’s re search papers show tremendous leap in our understanding of physics. His investigation mounts up on “leptons”.
His work builds substantially on the work of Einstein and others in the field of relativity.”
When physicists from Princeton University tried to measure Sudarshan’s IQ with an IQmeter (at the American Embassy in Delhi),the meter broke down.
Sudarshan, incidentally, is the brother of Madhu Reddy, the Indian whiz kid who developed an operating system superior to Microsoft Windows.
We should all be very proud of these boys.
Nov 21, 2006
Errors not Warnings !!!!
Girl says, Can’t you see the warning on the pack? “Smoking is injurious to health”
To this the engineer says………..
Any guesses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
We bother only about Errors not Warnings!!!!
Birthdays and You
*1st, 10th, 19th, 28th *of any month you are number* 1.*
*2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th* of any month then you are number *2.*
*3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th* of any month then you are number *3.*
*4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st* of any month then you are Number *4.*
*5th, 14th, 23rd* of any month then you are number *5.*
*6th, 15th, 24th* of any month then you are number *6.*
*7th, 16th, 25th* of any month then you are number *7.*
*8th, 17th, 26th* of any month then you are number *8.*
*9th, 18th, 27th* of any month then you are number *9.*
*Number 1*
You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4,6,8 while a good match would be with 3,5,7
*Number 2*
No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no other people can put up with you!!!
*Number 3*
You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It’s not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and problems but they won’t be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!! Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5
*Number 4*
You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other people’s problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too much fun with your mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good match 5, 6, and 7
*Number 5*
You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help your friends. You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good match 6, 8.
*Number 6*
Ooopppss.. you were born to enjoy! You don’t care about others. I mean you always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world’s wounds to make peace for everyone because you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step further.. Your best match 7, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5
*Number 7*
You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art, singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don’t, then you might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone’s joy. Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4
*Number 8*
You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly- disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your Best match 1. 4, and 8. Good match 5
*Number 9*
You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it’s still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there! Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone. Your best match 3, 5,6, and 9. Good match 2
Nov 20, 2006
Cell Phone Usage at Rainy Time
At the cemetray, in total, there were about 12 persons out of which 4 of them were under a palm tree 5 of others were also standing beside these 4 It was raining with thunder and LIGHTNING after 7 pm One of them, who had a cellphone with him, had received incoming call and when he swithced on to talk the LIGHTNING had struck and the total effect of SHOCK attacked all 4 of them at the spot.
The man with the cellphone had died on the spot 2 others standing near to him were declared dead at Meenakshi Mission Hospital 1 is seriously injured and now in hospital 10000 Watts currnet has passed on inside the body of the man died on the spot as said by Doctors in hospital.
Hence, usage of CELL PHONE AT RAINY TIME IS PRONE TO ACCIDENT
Always tell truth to your Wife
He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees beautiful woman and strikes up a conversation. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says, “Oh no! It’s so late. My wife’s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?”She gives him some talcum powder, which he precedes to rub on his hands and then goes home.
His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she ispretty angry. Where have you been?
” Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!” She sees his hands are covered with powder and says… “You big fat liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!”
Moral of the story:
(1) Always tell your wife the truth.
(2) She won’t believe you anyway.
(3) At least your conscience will be clear