Dear Microsoft Technical Support,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0 but uninstall doesn’t work on this program.
With regards,
Joe.
THE REPLY: -
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary36.24.36 (Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.
Thank you for using the program!!
With regards,
Bill
Sep 26, 2006
Don’t Miss the Moral.
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just ased on opinion or pre conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell “INDIA” and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell “ENGLAND” and he too passes.
It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell “CZECHOSLOVAKIA”.
Laloo protests that he doesn’t know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. He writes it easily and passes.
Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN”. He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR…..” Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren’t), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: “When did India get Independence?”. He replied “1947″ and passed.replied “1947″ and passed.
Advani is asked “How many people died during the independence struggle?”.
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It’s Laloo’s turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story :
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just ased on opinion or pre conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell “INDIA” and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell “ENGLAND” and he too passes.
It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell “CZECHOSLOVAKIA”.
Laloo protests that he doesn’t know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. He writes it easily and passes.
Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN”. He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR…..” Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren’t), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: “When did India get Independence?”. He replied “1947″ and passed.replied “1947″ and passed.
Advani is asked “How many people died during the independence struggle?”.
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It’s Laloo’s turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story :
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.