FunnY IntervieW

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole. Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya he he he...

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Andhra Pradesh) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he... Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!

Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at KPHB (Kukatpalli Housing Board), so you can say Ameerpet is my current platform. Earlier I was at Charminaar center. Therefore, Charminaar was my platform then. As you can see, I have experience of different platforms! (Charminaar and Ameerpet are the places in Hyderabad)

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Telugu, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages he he he...

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. Therefore, VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD! Also...

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. However, I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL(Bata InfoTech Ltd.), I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it should not be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers ' , 'hot fixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. In addition, I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, avoiding breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally, I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2007,I don't mind going there in that period . As you can see I am modest and do not have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?


Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact, I was never entertained so much before. We look forward to working with you... :-)

What is Effective Communication ???

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" Therefore, Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" However, the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him. Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try." Therefore, Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?" To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son, by all means." Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

Some facts about Orkut:

1. Orkut Buyukkokten(the creator of Orkut) gets $12 when every person registers to this website.
2. He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.
3. He gets $8 when your friend's friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if anybody adds you as a friend in the resulting chain.
4. He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.
5. He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.
6. He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.
7. He gets $2 when you become somebody's fan.
8. He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.
9. He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.
10. He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.
11. He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend's scrap-book & $0.5 every time you view your friend's friend-list.
12. Many Global Financial Consultants think this person might become the richest-person in the world by the end of 2009.
13. Finally, this is the best fact. This person has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 assistants to monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps a day.

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.

How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!

Balance = 0

" Then how can a student pass ??"