A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- We must find & stop her!.
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ‘’Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM'’.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says “CHIN YU YAN” and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is ‘U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!”
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what…—To avoid side effect!!!
Man: Sardarji where were u born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab”.
IN COURT during a case: Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke ….. Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho…..
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don’t know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says “please recharge your card”
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, “For best results put on two coats”
A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258.
Q:) How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard… BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept……..
Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Nov 10, 2006
A collection of Sardar’s Joke -- 1
A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth…………….. Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It’s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This PacketSardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar’s wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
Sardarji gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, and sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardarji: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”
Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth…………….. Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It’s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This PacketSardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar’s wish: when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d bus he was driving..
Logical Thoughts
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
…………………………………………………………………..
Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
so why practice?
…………………………………………………………………..
If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
…………………………………………………………………..
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
…………………………………………………………………..
How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
…………………………………………………………………..
Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.
…………………………………………………………………..
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
…………………………………………………………………..
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
…………………………………………………………………..
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
…………………………………………………………………..
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
…………………………………………………………………..
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
…………………………………………………………………..
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
…………………………………………………………………..
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
…………………………………………………………………..
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
…………………………………………………………………..
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
…………………………………………………………………..
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
…………………………………………………………………..
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
what more can I say
……..………………………………………..
education ruined me.
…………………………………………………………………..
Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
so why practice?
…………………………………………………………………..
If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
…………………………………………………………………..
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
…………………………………………………………………..
How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
…………………………………………………………………..
Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.
…………………………………………………………………..
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
…………………………………………………………………..
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
…………………………………………………………………..
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
…………………………………………………………………..
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
…………………………………………………………………..
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
…………………………………………………………………..
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
…………………………………………………………………..
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
…………………………………………………………………..
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
…………………………………………………………………..
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
…………………………………………………………………..
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
…………………………………………………………………..
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
what more can I say
……..………………………………………..
Try to answer if u can……… based on minimum no of clues…!
Clue no: 1 - In an Historic match between India and England
Clue no: 2 - He was the Opening bowler in that match…..
Clue no: 3 - He was also the Opening batsman in that match…..
Clue no: 4 - He is the one who bowled the last ball of his innings…..
Clue no: 5 - He was the one who faced the last ball of the innings….
Still u didn’t get it…… oops…..
Clue no: 6 - He took the last wicket of the innings…...
Clue no: 7 - He was the man of match in that particular match….
Okay atleast after this easy one
Clue no: 8 - He won the match for his team by hitting a sixer in the last ball…….. Who is HE ?
Not yet
Okay Let the genius answer it….
It is……….
Aamir Khan in Lagaan