1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43 (New MCH number 56-678/4A/B-22),while you actually live in the second house beside Zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road.
2. You end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science show or an automobile convention.
3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".
4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions, whether it is to Malakpet,Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or Moosapet.
5. You come across tailors sporting the board: "Immidiot delivery in two days onli."
6.You can speak Hindi, Urdu, hyderabadi hinglish, except Telugu, fluently
7.You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner with exotic Chinese, Mexican,Italian
and Lebanese cuisines.
8. You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.
9. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.
10. Everytime somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain?'
11. You refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.
12. You call 11 AM as "subah subah."
13. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'
14. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.
15. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'
16. You are reading this and secretly admitting that you are, after all, a true blue Hyderabadi. you know one thing..... Once a Hyderabadi, always a Hyderabadi!
Jan 19, 2007
Do V Recognise
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over your lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he cried and told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him u thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he cried and told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him u thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
wat mobile can do at hospital
This is a real incident that happened in a local hospital in Bangalore , India . A 4 year old girl was admitted due to leg fracture. As it was an open fracture, she had to undergo an operation to stitch the protruding bone back in place. Though it was quite a minor operation, she was hooked on to life support system, as a part of the process. Thereafter, the operation proceeded. Half way through the process, the life support system suddenly went dead.
The culprit: - Some one was using mobile phone outside the operation theater. And the frequency had affected the system. They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after.
"Be compassionate! Do not use your hand phone /mobiles especially at any hospitals or within the Aircraft or any places where you are told not to use it... You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing". Sometimes it's a matter of Life & Death....!!!!
The culprit: - Some one was using mobile phone outside the operation theater. And the frequency had affected the system. They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after.
"Be compassionate! Do not use your hand phone /mobiles especially at any hospitals or within the Aircraft or any places where you are told not to use it... You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing". Sometimes it's a matter of Life & Death....!!!!
Titanic song remake as Orkut song
Every time in my orkut
I see you. I scrap you.
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the Scrap Book
And testimonials between us
You have come to show yourself “ single”.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the friends list does go on
Once more you logged on
And you're here in my scrap book
And my scrap book will go on and on
Testimonials can touch us one time
And last for sometime
And never let go till we're friends
Love was when I saw your friends list
One true time I hold to
In my life I’ll surely view her/his profile
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the friends list does go on
Once more you logged on
And you're here in my scrap book
And my scrap book will go on and on
There is some amazing profile that will not
go away
You're here, there's so much to fear,
And I know that my friend will know I checked her/him out
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my friends list
And my friends list will go on
I see you. I scrap you.
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the Scrap Book
And testimonials between us
You have come to show yourself “ single”.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the friends list does go on
Once more you logged on
And you're here in my scrap book
And my scrap book will go on and on
Testimonials can touch us one time
And last for sometime
And never let go till we're friends
Love was when I saw your friends list
One true time I hold to
In my life I’ll surely view her/his profile
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the friends list does go on
Once more you logged on
And you're here in my scrap book
And my scrap book will go on and on
There is some amazing profile that will not
go away
You're here, there's so much to fear,
And I know that my friend will know I checked her/him out
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my friends list
And my friends list will go on
Men Vs Women
GIRL FACTS:
When a girl bumps into your arm while walking
She wants you to hold her hand
When she wants a hug, she will just stand there [:p]
When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when
u run into each other 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more than that
When a girl is mean to you after a breakup she wants you back,
but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever
Guy Facts:
When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes,
he means it
When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,
he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday,
he is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you,
he's with you till your done
When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
When a girl bumps into your arm while walking
She wants you to hold her hand
When she wants a hug, she will just stand there [:p]
When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when
u run into each other 3 years later
When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.
When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.
When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.
When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more than that
When a girl is mean to you after a breakup she wants you back,
but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever
Guy Facts:
When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...
When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes,
he means it
When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,
he has the world
When a guy calls you everyday,
he is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you,
he's with you till your done
When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
Jan 18, 2007
Heights of Orkut
HEIGHT OF ISOLATION:?
Two persons sitting side by side using scraps to communicate with each
other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:?
Two persons fighting through scraps.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:??
Receiving no scraps for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:?
The scrap server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love scrap and doing a 'Send All.
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT:?
A person sending scaps to a girl wanting to become friends and getting
a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:?
A person sending scap to himself.
HEIGTHT OF EXPECTATION:?
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match .
HEIGHT OF REPETITION:?
Forwarding an scrap to someone and receiving the same scrap forwarded
back to you By some one in the receiving chain.
HEIGHT OF BROWSING:?
U r swimming in the water tank and shout "F1 F1 F1?" instead of
shouting "HELP" when u are unable to swim
HEIGHT OF MY DOSTI:
I always scrap, u don't
HEIGHT OF HAVING NO WORK:
Reading such scraps.
Two persons sitting side by side using scraps to communicate with each
other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE:?
Two persons fighting through scraps.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS:??
Receiving no scraps for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION:?
The scrap server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing a love scrap and doing a 'Send All.
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT:?
A person sending scaps to a girl wanting to become friends and getting
a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS:?
A person sending scap to himself.
HEIGTHT OF EXPECTATION:?
Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match .
HEIGHT OF REPETITION:?
Forwarding an scrap to someone and receiving the same scrap forwarded
back to you By some one in the receiving chain.
HEIGHT OF BROWSING:?
U r swimming in the water tank and shout "F1 F1 F1?" instead of
shouting "HELP" when u are unable to swim
HEIGHT OF MY DOSTI:
I always scrap, u don't
HEIGHT OF HAVING NO WORK:
Reading such scraps.
ConfuseD
Ques. 1 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
A TOMATO....... AND THE TRING TRING TRING WAS TO CONFUSE YOU......
Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
The DOOR BELL and the RED was to CONFUSE you......
Ques 3 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
A CAKE .... and both were to confuse u Anyways... Here's one more....
Ques 4 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
A Fire Brigade Obviously...........
And you Thought I was trying to Confuse You
A TOMATO....... AND THE TRING TRING TRING WAS TO CONFUSE YOU......
Ques 2 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
The DOOR BELL and the RED was to CONFUSE you......
Ques 3 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
A CAKE .... and both were to confuse u Anyways... Here's one more....
Ques 4 : What is RED and goes TRING TRING TRING ????
A Fire Brigade Obviously...........
And you Thought I was trying to Confuse You
Jan 9, 2007
Rated As The World's Most Dangerous Road
RATED AS THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS ROAD
In the South American country of Bolivia.
It consists of 70 km of dirt and rock heading north from La Paz, the world's highest capitol (altitude 3,660 metres), to Coroico, a beautiful cloud forest town at the rim of the Amazon basin. Its catchy nickname is due to the 26 vehicles that fall off the road per year. About 200 people annually lose their lives here. A fatal accident every fortnight is not uncommon on the Coroico road (the July disaster brought the death toll during the previous eight months to 55) and in 1995 the Inter-American Development Bank declared this, the world's most dangerous road.
The only road that exists to get to the Amazon from La Paz, it is carved into the sides of a canyon. It can have vertical drops for 500 metres and has no guardrails.
Consequently, most Bolivians take the time to pray before their descent. After all, it could be their last.
Sure you do laugh
If Zidane is a Hero from any "WooD" (Holly, Bolly, Kolly, Tolly...)
Then Climax fight would be as follows:
Then Climax fight would be as follows:
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English Version:
Hindi Version:
Tamil Version:
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Telugu Version:
Jan 4, 2007
Slip of the toungue...
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND! : "oh shit"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND! : "oh shit"
Cheers 2007...............
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
A DEFINITE READ!!... TOO DAMN FUNNY!! :)
A local newspaper (in England ) ran a competition asking for a rhyme
with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your sister.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your sister.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
Jan 3, 2007
Human Race is doomed through stupidity
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
What happens in heaven:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around.
We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This
is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer
are received.."
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many
angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and
scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second
section.
The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery
Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are
processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."
I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working
hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and
were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the
door of a very small station.
To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly
doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section," my angel friend
quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.
"How is it that? There is no work going on here?" I asked.
"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that
they ask for, very few send back acknowledgments.
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.
"Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord."
"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked..
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof
overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in
a dish, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the
1% in the world who has that opportunity."
Also.....
"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ....
You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of
imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation.......
you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.
"If you can attend a religious meeting without the fear of harassment,
arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than,
three billion people in the world.
"If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very
rare.
If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're
unique to all those in doubt and despair."
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing
in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are
more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot
read at all.
We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This
is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer
are received.."
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many
angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and
scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second
section.
The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery
Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are
processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."
I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working
hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and
were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the
door of a very small station.
To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly
doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section," my angel friend
quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.
"How is it that? There is no work going on here?" I asked.
"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that
they ask for, very few send back acknowledgments.
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.
"Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord."
"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked..
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof
overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in
a dish, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the
1% in the world who has that opportunity."
Also.....
"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ....
You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of
imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation.......
you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.
"If you can attend a religious meeting without the fear of harassment,
arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than,
three billion people in the world.
"If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very
rare.
If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're
unique to all those in doubt and despair."
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing
in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are
more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot
read at all.
Jan 2, 2007
Peruse this ...Loks nice isn't .........
Tomorrow never comes...
ONE OF my favourite one-liners is, "A pessimist is one who complains of the noise when opportunity knocks." And well, this knocking reminds me of the adage, "Opportunity knocks but once." Simple, yet true.
How often have you put off doing something and borne its consequences in the form of a `late fine' or `late promotion' at work? Probably, it was not even your fault. Most perfectionists get labeled as procrastinators simply because they aim for the sky when all that is required is a piece of the earth! Well, that just might be a bad parallel to draw.
So here's an example. Imagine that a certain Miss X is asked to collate the minutes of a high level meeting. The perfectionist that she is, it took her 5 hours to finalise the document, and she came up with a 50 page document! Utterly needless and a waste of time, which could have been put to better use!
Bottom line: Despite knowing that procrastination is definitely not the best thing to do. Why do we yield to it?
Afraid of failing:Most people are afraid of failing in new tasks assigned to them. So they tend to postpone them. A logical thing to do, isn't it? Indulging in regular routine work keeps them happy and so anything which places them out of their comfort zone, is swiftly pushed under the carpet!
Afraid of mediocrity: Perfectionists want to do it all, and do it perfectly. They spend a lot of time over trivial matters thereby missing many an important deadline. Remember Ms. X?
So here's an example. Imagine that a certain Miss X is asked to collate the minutes of a high level meeting. The perfectionist that she is, it took her 5 hours to finalise the document, and she came up with a 50 page document! Utterly needless and a waste of time, which could have been put to better use!
Bottom line: Despite knowing that procrastination is definitely not the best thing to do. Why do we yield to it?
Afraid of failing:Most people are afraid of failing in new tasks assigned to them. So they tend to postpone them. A logical thing to do, isn't it? Indulging in regular routine work keeps them happy and so anything which places them out of their comfort zone, is swiftly pushed under the carpet!
Afraid of mediocrity: Perfectionists want to do it all, and do it perfectly. They spend a lot of time over trivial matters thereby missing many an important deadline. Remember Ms. X?
Some perfectionists set such high standards for themselves that they consider anything else below that sky touching goal mediocre. And once they have set their goal, they keep putting it off. As their standards are unreasonable, they are afraid they may not accomplish them!
Afraid of success: Yes, there are people who are actually afraid of success. That's because success brings with it more work and additional responsibilities! Such people are efficient workers and love challenging projects. However, once they have made significant progress, they lose interest in the work and look for ways to stall the additional work.
Afraid of success: Yes, there are people who are actually afraid of success. That's because success brings with it more work and additional responsibilities! Such people are efficient workers and love challenging projects. However, once they have made significant progress, they lose interest in the work and look for ways to stall the additional work.
Let's see how this problem can be remedied without being a prey to procrastination.
First the bad news: M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist and author of "The Road Less Traveled" recommends delaying gratification by experiencing the pain first, as the best way to cure procrastination. Dr Peck suggests that onerous tasks must be dealt with first and then the remaining time spent on gratifying tasks. Most often we simply complete tasks that we like in the first couple of hours of the day. This leaves us with the most monotonous jobs for the rest of the day. No doubt, we don't ever get around to completing them!
Action plan: At some point of time in our careers each one of us is bogged down by an apparently complex project. This makes us delay it to eternity. A simpler thing to do in such cases is to identify action steps. Break down the complex project into simple steps. Organise these tasks sequentially. Breaking a project into smaller bite sized chunks takes away the drudgery of the tasks.
Make time: An overwhelming project leaves us looking for that huge slot of time when we can accomplish it. Not required. Try accommodating smaller tasks through the day.
First the bad news: M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist and author of "The Road Less Traveled" recommends delaying gratification by experiencing the pain first, as the best way to cure procrastination. Dr Peck suggests that onerous tasks must be dealt with first and then the remaining time spent on gratifying tasks. Most often we simply complete tasks that we like in the first couple of hours of the day. This leaves us with the most monotonous jobs for the rest of the day. No doubt, we don't ever get around to completing them!
Action plan: At some point of time in our careers each one of us is bogged down by an apparently complex project. This makes us delay it to eternity. A simpler thing to do in such cases is to identify action steps. Break down the complex project into simple steps. Organise these tasks sequentially. Breaking a project into smaller bite sized chunks takes away the drudgery of the tasks.
Make time: An overwhelming project leaves us looking for that huge slot of time when we can accomplish it. Not required. Try accommodating smaller tasks through the day.
How about scribbling the points to be dealt with, in a report when travelling to work? Or making that 2-minute telephone call to the executive board when waiting for the elevator?
Delegate: It is important to know when to let go. It is possible to reassign a part or the entire project to a subordinate.
This will let you concentrate on more important tasks. Reassigning of projects might also happen among colleagues. Swapping of projects in which you aren't too interested, can be done with a colleague who is similarly disinterested in something you like.
Delegate: It is important to know when to let go. It is possible to reassign a part or the entire project to a subordinate.
This will let you concentrate on more important tasks. Reassigning of projects might also happen among colleagues. Swapping of projects in which you aren't too interested, can be done with a colleague who is similarly disinterested in something you like.
Procrastinate procrastination forever!
Jan 1, 2007
Million Dollars worth Photographs!
Million Dollars worth Photographs!
1) Tim Berners Lee -- Founder of the World Wide Web
2) Picture taken when microsoft was started
3) Steve Woznaik(sitting) and Steve Jobs of APPLE Computers.
He was three months late in filing a name for the business because he didn't get any better name for his new company.
So one day he told to the staff: "If I'll not get better name by 5 o'clcok today, our company's name will be anything he likes..."
so at 5 o'clcok nobody comeup with better name, and he was eating APPLE that time...
so he keep the name of the company 'Apple Computers'
4) Bill Hewlett(L) and Dave Packard(R) of HP.
Behind them in the picture is the famous HP Garage.
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
And the winner was NOT Bill... the winner was Dave.
5) Ken Thompson (L)and Dennis Ritchie(R) ,creators of UNIX.
Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.
B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie)
He later called it C.
6) Larry Page(L) and Sergey Brin(R), founders of Google.
Google was originally named 'Googol'.
After founders (Stanford graduates) Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor...
they received a cheque made out to 'Google' !...
So they kept name as GOOGLE
7) Gordon Moore(L) and Bob Noyce(R) ,founders of Intel.
Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce'.
But that was already trademarked by a hotel chain...
So they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics... INTEL
1) Tim Berners Lee -- Founder of the World Wide Web
2) Picture taken when microsoft was started 
3) Steve Woznaik(sitting) and Steve Jobs of APPLE Computers.He was three months late in filing a name for the business because he didn't get any better name for his new company.
So one day he told to the staff: "If I'll not get better name by 5 o'clcok today, our company's name will be anything he likes..."
so at 5 o'clcok nobody comeup with better name, and he was eating APPLE that time...
so he keep the name of the company 'Apple Computers'
4) Bill Hewlett(L) and Dave Packard(R) of HP.Behind them in the picture is the famous HP Garage.
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
And the winner was NOT Bill... the winner was Dave.
5) Ken Thompson (L)and Dennis Ritchie(R) ,creators of UNIX.Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.
B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie)
He later called it C.
6) Larry Page(L) and Sergey Brin(R), founders of Google.Google was originally named 'Googol'.
After founders (Stanford graduates) Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor...
they received a cheque made out to 'Google' !...
So they kept name as GOOGLE
7) Gordon Moore(L) and Bob Noyce(R) ,founders of Intel.Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce'.
But that was already trademarked by a hotel chain...
So they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics... INTEL